jadedmusings: (Ming Ming Sewious)
Today in things that only happen to me before a boss pull in Firelands:

Jack hopped in through the open window (he gets to use it like a cat door in warmer weather) and went under my chair. I happened to look down and saw he deposited a dead mouse.

Jack: I BROUGHTED YOU A MURDER PRESENT!
Jade: (On vent.) "Um, sorry guys, I need a minute to clean up the dead mouse my cat just brought me."
Jack: (Sashays off to his chair, nose in the air.) YOU'RE WELCOME!

When I had a chance a few minutes later, I gave him some catnip, which he thoroughly enjoyed.

At least he didn't bring it to me while I was lying in bed this time,* and at least he wasn't like Gwen and left it on the dining room table.** Still, his timing could have been better.

As for the raid, don't ask me. I don't want to get into it.

* = True story. It was shortly after we brought Jack home from the cat rescue. One night I was sitting in bed on the laptop and Jack jumped on the bed and plopped a big dead mouse right there next to me on the comforter. That was the moment I knew he was happy to have a home.

** = Also a true story. This one not as funny because Gwen had partially disemboweled the mouse and left the top half on the table for us. I guess she thought the entire mouse was more than we deserved.
jadedmusings: (Default)
It'd be really nice if I could tell a person no in Triumph and not immediately get "Lame!" or "I don't understand the rationatel, but whatever!" How about you ask me to explain the rationale, or better yet give me a chance to explain it myself, as I was going to do?

No, you may not make, buy, or give higher tier equipment to a player of lower level who does not yet have the avail for it. Yes, it was our mistake to decide this, literally, months ago and not make an Official Announcement(TM). However, acting rude toward me doesn't change the consensus of the GM team, nor does it exactly make me feel great. Believe it or not, I don't get off on telling you no, and I don't say no to be mean. It takes a lot of consideration to make the game fair for everyone involved. No one is going to die because they're several levels behind due to whatever reason. There is no plot death without player permission in Triumph. Yes, it might mean a person sucks for a session combat-wise, but if they're far enough behind, the XP rewards are more than adequate so they catch up quickly and won't constantly be stuck in fail mode.

I had a really awful day today, and I was doing marginally better. I was pinged directly to answer a question. I did so, and tried to be polite about it, but the response I got was, to be blunt, rude. I know it's not the snugglenets, but a little kindness would go a long way.

And also, I hate doing and saying this, but I am feeling extremely underappreciated right now. I'm once again find myself asking why it is I stay on as a GM and why I bother playing in Triumph. No, I'm not point any fingers or naming names, but I am saying "Hey, this is where I'm at and how I feel right now." Also, I've got to deal with some serious real life stuff in the next few days, and I just found out tonight another distant relative of mine is dying of cancer. It doesn't really affect me since I've never even so much as met this person before, but my mother knows her, and so do my uncles and a couple of cousins, which makes it something of a Big Deal(TM). It affects them emotionally, which in turn does affect me, especially considering that Sunday will be one year since my father passed from cancer, and it's only been a few days since I had to put Gwen down. ...In other words, there's a lot on my plate right now, and it'd be nice if someone could just throw me a little bone of appreciation. Preferably someone other than the people in Fourth Age for once, ok? I don't like begging, but...yeah, I need a few e-hugs and sweetness for the time being.
jadedmusings: (Default)
So far there has been no trouble from the neighbors. I'm pretty sure the sheriff's office went by there yesterday. I noticed last night when I took the garbage can to the curb (Thursday is trash day), I wasn't barked at like I usually am anytime I go outside at night. In fact, I haven't heard him barking at all. It makes me wonder if they got rid of him, or worse. The only legal recourse I had - aside from small claims court - was asking he stay in his yard. That's it. Sadly, I wouldn't be the least bit surprised if they got the notice and went to the extreme of having him put down. Then again, maybe they sent him to live with a relative who has more room for him to roam. Around here, a fair number of people treat their pets as disposable property, and if they take one step out of line (and granted, attacking a cat and paralyzing it is a very big deal), the pet is gone, even if the problem is on the owner can easily handle. It's depressing to think about.

I suppose I'll find out something eventually, but for now I'm just thankful this won't turn into some sort of neighborhood feud. If he was put down, well, I actually feel bad about that because I do think some of his aggressiveness could be solved with a simple neutering. Then again, he's also an adult and set in his ways, so I'm not sure how much good neutering would do by now. I also wonder if that dog growled at an officer when s/he stopped by to deliver the report. He's the reason I won't go for a walk around here, because the one and only time I did, he barked at me when I got near his house and seemed like he would bite me if he could work up the courage. Oh well, I can't control them, and as long as that dog doesn't come back into my yard, there's nothing else for me to do or say.

I keep slipping up and calling Prissy Gwen. I also catch myself looking out onto the porch at night before bed and thinking I need to bring Gwen inside. I know this is normal; I did it when I had to put Zoe down in January, and I still have the rare moment when I think about calling Dad and telling him something. I really hate how intimately acquainted I've become with the grieving process in the last couple of years. It's frustrating.

Today is a mental health day for me. I'm going to call Mom since she wanted to take the kiddo today to spend some time with him, and once he's gone with her, I'm possibly going to go get myself a sandwich from Subway or food from somewhere else. After that, I'm going to come back here and veg. Maybe I'll try to write a little and do some work on my campaign.
jadedmusings: (Default)

Gwen January(?) 2000 - July 13, 2009


Eight years ago, around June of 2001, I was at PetSmart in Columbia, South Carolina, with my then-boyfriend. They had cats up for adoption as part of the company's program to find homes for homeless pets. There weren't many cats there at all, in fact I only saw a little gray kitten when I first went in to find myself a companion. I asked to hold the kitten, and while he was absolutely adorable, he was a bit too active for me and I feared he would be the sort to climb on things when I wasn't around. I returned him to the volunteer and was about to leave when my boyfriend said, "Hey, there's a cat over here."

I looked at the kennel he was pointing to, and a beautiful calico cat took one look at me as if to say, "You're taking me home today. I'm going back to sleep, ok now?" She turned her head back and promptly went back to sleep and I immediately told the volunteer, "I'll take that one." And that was how Gwen came into my life.

Gwen was there for me after my break-up with that boyfriend, and she was there through the therapy that came after said break-up and my parents' separation and divorce. She even made sure that I went to sleep in my bed as opposed to the couch in the living room, as odd as that sounds. She pretty much helped me hold it together at a time when everything else in my life was falling apart. She moved with me up to Maine to be with Tofu, she was there when I had a baby, and she returned with me back to South Carolina.

After Dad passed away last year, I moved into his house and left Gwen with Tofu since I knew she preferred being out there where she could roam in the woods surrounding that house. Well, I thought she did anyway. One night I was dropping Tofu off at his house and I had opened my door in the truck for some reason. Gwen ran up to the truck, jumped into the cab and promptly sat down on the center console next to me. I petted her head and said, "I'm going home, you sure you don't want to stay?" She looked up at me as if to say, again, "You're taking me with you, and I'm not taking no for an answer." And so she came here to live with me, the kiddo, Dad's cat, and Penny.

I tried to force her to be an indoor cat, but after winter, she starting insisting she be able to go outside to lounge in the sun on my back porch. Since she's got her claws and was accustomed to being outdoors, I allowed it, and she kept near the house at all times. I don't recall a time when she was outdoors that I couldn't go outside and find her right away. That's what she was doing today when I let the dogs out. In fact, I looked at her from my backdoor at one point before sunset while she was busy grooming herself and she seemed to say to me, "I'm not done yet. I'll come in when I'm ready." It wasn't an unusual occurence, so I let the dogs back inside and figured I'd call for Gwen later. Sadly, she didn't get to come back inside tonight.

Around 10:20 PM, I let the dogs outside once more. Immediately I knew something was wrong because I heard one of the neighbor's dogs (one I have had trouble with many times before) in my yard, barking. Penny and Sasha ran over to see what the fuss was, but both of them were afraid to go into the woods a few yards behind my house because it was dark and because the other dog was there (he's a bully). I looked back to the porch and noticed Gwen wasn't there - that was when I heard a cat yowl between the dog's barks. With a sinking feeling in my stomach, I ran inside to get my flashlight. When I came back out, the dog ran away and my two dogs stuck by me as I walked over to where they had been. I was too late.

Gwen was alive, but dazed. I carried her back inside, saw no visible wounds on her, but she wasn't able to sit up or use her back legs at all. I called my mother who was able to get me the number for a 24-hour emergency clinic in Augusta, GA - an hour away. She was quiet the entire way there, and when I could, I'd reach into her travel crate and pet her. The way she nuzzled my hand, and the way she slept most of the way only made me worry more. When I got there a little after midnight, the vet told me what I feared. Nerve damage. She had lost control of the lower half of her body, and it was highly unlikely she would ever recover. I did the only thing I could do for her - the kindest thing I could do at that point. I signed a slip of paper, and then I said my good-byes.

I lost a great friend tonight. She's been a part of my life for so long and has seen me through so much hell. I thanked her for being there while I petted her. I told her I was sorry I didn't get there sooner, and that I loved her. I think she understood, and she let me pet her as I said good-bye. I cried, and I'm crying again as I write this. She deserved better than this, and I'm going to miss her so very much.

Good-bye, Gwen.
jadedmusings: (Default)
The kiddo and I played outside for a few minutes today, but the humidity proved to be a bit much for both of us and the dogs. (It's only in the 80s and by all accounts a beautiful day, but the humidity in South Carolina hits like a brick wall, even this early in the not-quite-Spring season.) We're going to go back outside in about an hour (around six o'clock) as it'll have cooled off a little. He's eager to practice more with the t-ball stuff. In the meantime, here are a couple of pictures I managed to snag while taking photos of the house.

Gwen joined us outdoors (she's used to being an indoor/outdoor cat though she spends about 95% of her time indoors and only really gets out those times when she's too quick for me to catch, like today). I really love the way this picture came out and I may take the original to be printed up at a photo store so I can frame it and put it on display.



This was taken by my front door, and that porch desperately needs to be replaced. (You can't see it here, but I've got the stairs blocked off so that no one tries to climb them and risks falling through rotted wood.) It's one of many house improvement projects I'm going to be getting to this Spring and Summer. First though, I have some work to do indoors, and we've used the side door since before Dad was even sick anyway, so it's not a big hassle.

Sasha chased the kiddo around the backyard (a great way to tire a hyper puppy and active five year-old boy, by the way). The kiddo spotted the camera and stopped long enough for me to take a couple of shots, but this is the only one I managed to get with Sasha sitting (mostly) still.



Another shot I'm really pleased with and may eventually frame (after doing some more work on it in Photoshop as all I did was crop and re-size today). I tried to get some shots of Penny, but she was too busy lounging under the truck for some shade and hiding from the camera.

So, after that fun bit of time outdoors I tried to write today, but it became impossible. Why? Well, here's what I see when I look down at my feet:


"I can has play tiem nao?"

I dare you to find me the person that can look down, see that, and not spend five minutes petting and playing with the little ball of fluff.

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Wrathful and Unrepentant Jade

December 2013

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