jadedmusings: (Default)
Sometimes, being in #returners can creep me the fuck out.

[17:46:36] <Creepster> I recently went to Uni. Lots of promiscuous girls.
[17:46:36] <Bystander> Rock on.
[17:46:36] <Creepster> With large breasts and low tops.
[17:46:36] <Asshat> Ah, I remember my Uni days
[17:46:42] <Asshat> Sadly, does not appear to extend to grad school, or at least I can't easily hit on the undergrads <_<
[17:46:42] <Bystander> Technically, I'm still in them. But it's community college, so not too great on those choices.
[17:46:42] <Bystander2> what did morgan say about seeming stereotypical?
[17:46:42] <Creepster> If I go back to Uni I have the problem that I'll be too old to sleep with my peers :/
[17:46:42] <Creepster> Which totally sucks.

Where, oh where do I begin? First is the presumption that if a woman (because if they're old enough to be in college/university, they're adults) has large breasts and wears low-cut tops, she's promiscuous. It couldn't just be that she happens to like wearing low-cut tops or that, as I know all too well as a woman with larger-than-average breasts, tops look differently on you than they do on the rack/on a woman with a different body. No, she is a dirty whore who jumps on any penis within her immediate vicinity (except the penis of the man posting).

Secondly is the person in a position of authority over undergrads (a teaching assistant) complaining that he can't hit on his students. Yes, because those sorts of relationships don't have the potential for abuse.

Thirdly we have the complaint that he can't have sex with his fellow students because he's now older, which is somewhat reasonable I guess, though most students in college are considered adults legally. However, I find it troubling he's more concerned about how it would look to sleep with his "peers," rather than focusing on his education.

All of this under a minute of time. And the sad thing is I could post even more.

Four Years

Jul. 11th, 2010 01:33 am
jadedmusings: (Default)
I guess that's long enough to be around a community.

Oh well, guess I'll find some place else to haunt.
jadedmusings: (Default)
Apologies for the gratuitous in-jokes in this post.

I can find many celebrities on Twitter. Levar Burton, Brent Spiner, Wil Wheaton, Nathan Fillion, Alison Hannigan/Denisof, etc. But now, those of you in Returners can rejoice for Roleplayers is on Twiter! Not only can you find out what YouTube videos he likes, but you can get updates on Valkyroid's development progress!

Isn't this exciting? A Returners legend on Twitter!
jadedmusings: (Default)
I probably shouldn't post this. I'm sleep deprived, stressed out, and after a week of events that included the death of a beloved family pet (Ginger) and learning that my son's school is shutting down after this year (which makes moving all the more imperative), I'll admit my perspective is more than a little skewed. However, most of what I'm putting here has been brewing for months now. Oh well.

Dear people I game with:

I don't want to talk about Triumph. Ever. I might occasionally mention it here, but in general it doesn't feel me with warm fuzzies to remember that only one or two people ever cared that I left and that I couldn't get back in to the game when I re-applied recently. My only consolation is that I was slightly better than She Who Shall Not Be Named, and that's not all that much of a consolation all things considered. I especially don't want to be PMed to discuss the activities of someone who was accepted over me. Please, as stupid as it is, it really stings to be reminded of these things. No, I don't regret quitting as a GM, but I do feel hurt that I was told my character sheet was fine and made to feel hopeful about my chances of getting in only to be passed over.

Also, I rejoined Mechanika because, to be blunt, I have no other games and it gives me something to do, but after only two sessions I realize I should have stayed gone. My Paladin is great for rp, but in battle she's constanly outshone, and then last night we got another Warrior job joining the campaign and it's played by someone I have a not-so-good history with. That means save for the GM and two players, that entire campaign is full of people I really can't stand. That's actually kind of an accomplishment considering the list of people who I can't stand enough to game with is really short. Most everyone else I've enjoyed or can at least tolerate. Coming back to the battle thing, with a Fighter joining the ranks created by someone who knows how to work the system to be a damage tank, I think it's best I leave. And no, kicking that person out won't make me stay. At all. If anything it'll just make me feel even worse and more depressed than I already do. Sometimes things just don't work out and this is one of those times.

Of course, with 1601 floundering right out of the starting gate, this pretty much means that I've got nothing going on in the Returners/FFRPG community. Feeling left out of so much while my boyfriend is always invited to join things and has something going on nearly every single night leaves me less motivated to GM my own campaign. It was easier to GM when the work I was putting into it was being off-set by all the fun I was having getting to be a player. With my life as stressful as it is, it makes it harder to do the GM work when I've got no outlet to rp elsewhere. Sure, Ivalice is making a comeback, but it's been since February since I played Nevena regularly and it'll be another two or three weeks before I can maybe play her regularly again. Forgive me if after everything I don't feel inclined to hang my hopes on a maybe. (And please understand, Justin, this isn't a shot at you. It's really not my intention. I'm in a bad spot right now and just saying how I feel.)

Maybe if I got invited to anything anymore (and I don't mean through Sam -- I mean people actually talking to me, personally, and inviting me or telling me something is happening), or maybe if I hadn't apparently developed this reputation of being some horrible monster that people can't even talk to. I'm sorry that two years ago I was going through a lot of shit that I didn't bring up publicly save for the odd moment or two. There's been so much going on since then and I'm sorry that I am not the most open person when it comes to talking about my feelings with more than two or three people.

This week I've given serious consideration to bowing out and only sticking around IRC to be able to talk to Sam and two or three other people who are friends. I know Sam says he wants to game with me, but considering our track record with characters in the same campaign... *sighs* Yeah. And I do realize most of this is my fault, OK? So no need to start posting about how people are afraid to talk to me. I've heard it more than once and I fucking get it, all right?

On the plus side, if I leave I can throw some energy into writing and reading.

Just venting here,

Jade
jadedmusings: (Default)
Dear #returners denizen,

I really, really, really want to feel some sort of sympathy for you. You're lonely, single, and have been that way for quite some time. If some of the statements you've made have been any indication, you also probably suffer from some type of untreated depression (at least, you've never mentioned seeking help). I can empathize so much with that, I really can. However, I have such a difficult time feeling much of any compassion for you, and here's why:

You overshare. A lot.

Look, if you're depressed, I want you to reach out for some help. A few people have been really awesome toward you, and the ops have allowed you to vent. That's not the problem and I applaud you for being brave enough to do so. No, the problem was times like today. No one there needed to know you were masturbating. Sure, your roommate walked in on you, but you didn't need to announce such a thing in there. Yes, we're all abunch of immature people who often let our inner twelve year-olds run amok; however, we stop short of revealing personal information like you did. I'm really uncomfortable being in a gaming-related chatroom and hearing about someone's masturbatory exploits. Boundaries. Learn some.

Again, it's not the depressed venting (even though that can sometimes get a little frustrating), it's the specific sex talk. Just something to think about, okay?

Trying to be understanding,

Jade
jadedmusings: (Default)
ETA: I just realized that the server I was on when this happened was Excelsior. This is now one million times more hilarious.

[20:20:30] <Captain_Vittles> ...was that a Voyager joke?
[20:20:43] <Tarinaky> It was a reference to a bad episode.
[20:21:05] <Captain_Vittles> Yeah, I remember.
[20:22:48] <JadeNSC> So you're referring to about half the series?
[20:23:01] * JadeNSC kids. She liked Voyager...even the Warp 10 episode. SHUT UP
[20:23:21] <JadeNSC> It was so bad it was good. Like crack.
[20:24:10] * Quits: Aidan (treasureca@S0106001fd05d128f.vs.shawcable.net) (Ping timeout: 180 seconds)
[20:24:32] * Quits: Captain_Vittles (blairmacke@76.11.82.223) (Ping timeout: 180 seconds)
[20:24:54] <JadeNSC> >.> man, when I kill a chat..
[20:25:20] * Quits: LordSaanjun (lordsaanju@75-104-104-81.cust.wildblue.net) (excelsior.esper.net triton.esper.net)
[20:25:20] * Quits: mattw (mattw@173.81.18.86) (excelsior.esper.net triton.esper.net)
[20:25:20] * Quits: Cyan87 (elsnell87@dhcp-south-45.resnet.nmt.edu) (excelsior.esper.net triton.esper.net)
[20:25:20] * Quits: Amatsu (amatsudark@204.237.70.231) (excelsior.esper.net triton.esper.net)
[20:25:20] * Quits: Newbie_X (jus19@c-71-236-70-214.hsd1.pa.comcast.net) (excelsior.esper.net triton.esper.net)
[20:25:20] * Quits: Brusque (slowpoke@d58-105-120-211.dsl.nsw.optusnet.com.au) (excelsior.esper.net triton.esper.net)
[20:25:20] * Quits: JonB_AtWork (berryjon@d198-166-24-143.abhsia.telus.net) (excelsior.esper.net triton.esper.net)
[20:25:20] * Quits: Serisan (chatzilla@c-69-180-172-9.hsd1.mn.comcast.net) (excelsior.esper.net triton.esper.net)
[20:25:20] * Quits: Spoony (Tolio@cpe-76-173-171-240.socal.res.rr.com) (excelsior.esper.net triton.esper.net)
[20:25:20] * Quits: dark_rabite (matt@70.98.114.135) (excelsior.esper.net triton.esper.net)
[20:25:20] * Quits: Bors (hachiiiiii@c-98-200-73-161.hsd1.tx.comcast.net) (excelsior.esper.net triton.esper.net)
[20:25:20] * Quits: Highwind (Highwind@70.98.114.135) (excelsior.esper.net triton.esper.net)
[20:25:20] * Quits: Amsterdam (Ninja.Weaz@c-71-204-44-173.hsd1.ga.comcast.net) (excelsior.esper.net triton.esper.net)
[20:25:20] * Quits: N_X[Work] (jschantz@c-71-236-70-214.hsd1.pa.comcast.net) (excelsior.esper.net triton.esper.net)
[20:25:20] * Quits: Tempest56 (notachance@pool-96-240-89-178.bflony.east.verizon.net) (excelsior.esper.net triton.esper.net)
[20:25:20] * Quits: Paradox_Cat (Lafing@209-6-236-166.c3-0.abr-ubr3.sbo-abr.ma.cable.rcn.com) (excelsior.esper.net triton.esper.net)
[20:25:20] * Quits: Laptop_Cat (Lafing@cps-dhcp43.bu.edu) (excelsior.esper.net triton.esper.net)
[20:25:20] * Quits: Doman (Doman@173-200.resnet.smu.edu) (excelsior.esper.net triton.esper.net)
[20:25:20] * Quits: Morgan (Morgan@cpc3-cmbg8-0-0-cust271.cmbg.cable.ntl.com) (excelsior.esper.net triton.esper.net)
[20:25:20] * Quits: Lakmir (Lakmir@c-24-62-127-157.hsd1.ma.comcast.net) (excelsior.esper.net triton.esper.net)
[20:25:20] * Quits: Arcomage (arcomage_d@dhcp-077-250-169-002.chello.nl) (excelsior.esper.net triton.esper.net)
[20:25:20] * Quits: Remora (kanashiiry@ACA4428D.ipt.aol.com) (excelsior.esper.net triton.esper.net)
[20:25:20] * Quits: Tarinaky (Tarinaky@client-80-3-111-43.bsh-bng-012.adsl.virginmedia.net) (excelsior.esper.net triton.esper.net)
[20:25:20] * Quits: Gullwhacker (Gullwhacke@cpe001109a1804b-cm001cea375fcc.cpe.net.cable.rogers.com) (excelsior.esper.net triton.esper.net)
[20:25:20] * Quits: A_FW (gray@c-67-180-104-106.hsd1.ca.comcast.net) (excelsior.esper.net triton.esper.net)
[20:25:20] * Quits: Callyn (rydian_x@24.139.22.30) (excelsior.esper.net triton.esper.net)
[20:25:20] * Quits: Jack998 (Jack998@76.78.136.107) (excelsior.esper.net triton.esper.net)
[20:25:20] * Quits: Roogle (Roogle@c-76-25-152-186.hsd1.co.comcast.net) (excelsior.esper.net triton.esper.net)
[20:25:42] <JadeNSC> ...um, oops?
jadedmusings: (Default)
Those of you not involved in returners won't get this, but I'm a fan of inside jokes, so I'm posting it anyway.

[07:29:27] <ajsuson> Hello.
[07:29:42] <Benedict> yo roleplayers, what is up
[07:29:50] <Link> Death
[07:29:56] <ajsuson> ajsuson for you.
[07:30:02] * Benedict stabs ray in the dick
[07:30:04] <ajsuson> Or refer me as AJ instead.
[07:30:11] <Benedict> touchy,
[07:30:18] <ajsuson> I have no right to be called roleplayers anymore.
[07:30:44] <Trey_Miller> ....Ooookay.
[07:30:51] <Trey_Miller> So, we'll call you Bob.

More under here. )

[07:44:57] <Benedict> i was thinking of running a dungeons and dragons fourth edition campaign. do you mind if i borrow your Valkyroid setting for it?
[07:45:04] <Benedict> i think people would really like to see it
[07:45:19] <ajsuson> Well, see if you can help out.

More under here too! )

[07:59:02] <Trey_Miller> In case he can't ever get it, email it to me. I'll talk with him tonight and can send it along
[07:59:03] <ajsuson> Hello.
[07:59:08] <ajsuson> how is your connection?
[07:59:10] <Benedict> dont feel like dealing with the blue screens
[07:59:12] <Benedict> im going to bed
[07:59:13] <Benedict> night
[07:59:16] * Benedict is now known as BeneSleep
[07:59:17] <ajsuson> ...
[07:59:23] <ajsuson> Actually, the email add.
[07:59:30] <Trey_Miller> Heh, right. email is [edited for privacy]
[07:59:56] <ajsuson> I'll give you the invitation later after I fix anything in my worldbook and put it on the office workspace.
[08:00:19] <Trey_Miller> *nod* Sure. I'll see it tonight when I get back on. I've gotta run now as my shift is up.
[08:01:13] <Trey_Miller> Aand, I am outies.
[08:01:43] * Trey_Miller (Trey_Mille@12.154.29.130) Quit (Quit: The solar system is gift wrapped.... Huh, whodathunk?)

Remember, don't call him roleplayers anymore!

ETA: Someone may or may not have added "<ajsuson> I have no right to be called roleplayers anymore." to Highwind's quote log, and that someone may or may not have been me. >.>
jadedmusings: (Default)
I just want to write up a tiny medium-sized rant/explanation of something regarding FFRPG. Please, feel free to skip/ignore.

The Divination trait does not grant you clairavoyance, omnipotency, or omnisciency. If you take the Divination trait, your character does not suddenly become Miss Cleo, nor does your character gain 24/7 access to the Akashic records. What Divination does is - combined the use of Key Points(KP) - give you vague clues about the immediate future. How vague depends on how many KP you part with, and even if you have a GM who will give you a crystal clear vision of some future event, it doesn't mean your character gets to have all the answers. It really doesn't mean your character can learn about other characters just by being their presence.

Here, let's break it down by looking at what's written in the PDF:

Divination
Effect: The character can foresee tiny fragments of the future or inklings of a destiny yet to come. How the character derives this knowledge varies from person to person; some may use Tarot cards or palmistry, others swear by smoke and tea leaves, and others still see the future through natural talents alone.

-1 Point (Spontaneous): By spending 1 Point, the character can obtain a vague vision of the not-too-distant future – either pertaining to themselves, another character, or the party as a whole. While accurate, this vision is open-ended enough to allow a number of interpretations.

-3 Point (Spontaneous): By spending 3 Points, the character can obtain a clear and unmistakable vision of the not-too-distant future – either pertaining to themselves, another character, or the party as a whole. This vision is lucid enough that there is no doubt as to what is happening, but still given without context. [Emphasis added]

See the parts I put in bold there? That means, even with the three-point version, you are not going to know everything. You will never be able to "see forever," or be able to learn Character Y's deepest, darkest secrets (and speaking from experience, you probably don't want to know what Character Y does in hir downtime). You can, on occasion, be able to inform the party of something that may or may not happen in the very near future, and sometimes you can get a fairly exact vision of it. However, it requires that you spend KP, which means you don't get to do that voodoo that you do on a whim.

There is no ability that allows a player to be truly psychic, and why would you want to be? If your character can have a crystal clear vision of the future and/or know everything there is to know about PCs and NPCs, where's the fun in uncovering plot, or having any sort of character development? Maybe there is a GM out there who doesn't mind hir players knowing what's in store for them, but I think I'd become rather bored playing in a campaign when I know how a major plot element is going to turn out. As a GM myself, I have fun throwing curveballs and springing surprises on my PCs.

You can probably have a lot of fun making a character whose catchphrase is "Call me now!" and you can even have hir be eccentric and just plain weird. I, personally, could have a lot of fun coming up with silly prophecies or making dire predictions for my comrades (think Miss Sybill Trelawney from Harry Potter), and I could put my own spin on events to say "See, I totally called it!" With the Divination trait, I could actually be right on the rare occasion - just enough to keep my fellow party members on their toes and freak them out. Or, I could be a charlatan who uses various tactics to make myself appear psychic though really all I'm doing is making educated/informed guesses. Of course, the first time I get caught going through a fellow PCs personal stuff to get clues about hir, I'll probably have to fight hard to keep my character from getting the crap beat out of hir. I could still use Divination to, again, know something on the odd occasion that's scarily accurate (and probably make the pissed-off PCs more inclined to keep my con-artist character around). And maybe you can have the real deal, but accept that you aren't going to be allowed to learn the secrets of the cosmos, and that your psychic abilities are never going to be exactly earth-shattering. If nothing else, it keeps the plot interesting, fun, and it keeps you from ticking off your fellow players because you spoil everything/have to know their secrets.

I bring this up because I have encountered, on more than one occasion, players who thought that merely taking the Divination trait granted their PCs psychic abilities. It does, but only when spending KP and certainly not to the degree I've seen some try to claim. It's especially frustrating when a player takes the Divination trait without understanding what the word "vague" means, and then complains that a GM didn't provide enough information. Nowhere in there does it say that a vision granted by Divination must be helpful to the party. It'd be nice if they all were, but it's not a requirement. It pays to think carefully before asking a GM for a specific vision of the future. The more direct and exacting your question is, the better your results will be; however, bear in mind a GM can always deny you the right to use any trait regardless of how much KP you're willing to use.

So, please, don't take the Divination trait expecting to be Doc Manhattan. Really, some secrets/surprises are better left unkown.
jadedmusings: (Default)
Three years ago around late-March, I joined some guild campaign called Adventurer's Guild. It was dead by June, having imploded in on itself due to a poorly constructed setting, but by that point I'd found another campaign to join called Silvertech. Thus began my membership in a community of assholes known as #returners. I've made some awesome friends, lost friends who were also awesome and that I miss dearly, and I've even managed to make a couple of people hate me (the feeling is mutual in case you were wondering).

So happy anniversary of my arrival to a community full of the best bastards I know online.

Three years ago today, I was doing an open roleplay in Adventurer's Guild with my first FFRPG third-edition charater, an Elvaan Swordmaster named Pasha. That night, my character struck up a conversation with another character, a conversation that went on for many hours. Eventually, the character's player had to bow out and said he was catching a plane for a week-long vacation some place. He said he would talk to me later, but I'd been on the Internet long enough to know that people come and go, especially when they say they're going away for a weeks' worth of time. I thought to myself at the time, "That was fun, too bad I'll never see him again." One week later, he logged back online and /query'd me, completely surprising me. We talked Out-of-Character for a long time and even flirted a bit, but it was innocent. He didn't think me odd for having a kid, being in an open relationship at that time, having tattoos, or anything I threw at him. He thought I was fun, and I thought he had great sense of humor and was a great roleplayer.

That was how I became friends with Sam. How we got from being friends with the occasional benefits to a monogamous couple is a long, long story. Suffice to say, our relationship's history is as weird as we are, and if you had told me three years ago that I'd be with Sam, I would have laughed in your face and said, "It's a nice thought, but there's just no way." Yeah. My life is strange that way, but hey, it works. He was there to help me realize how unhealthy my relationship with Tet was, and he never once pushed me to leave Tofu, only offered to listen to tell me that he would be there as my friend when I needed him (along with Elisha at that time) once I'd made the decision to leave. He called me the day they discovered Dad's tumor, and he was the first friend I talked to the night Dad died. In a short three years, he's been there for me through more than most people, and never once has he complained or denied me a shoulder to cry on.

I won't sit here and confess my undying love. I won't say that this is it for me. I don't know that, and I don't know that I ever will know that. What I do know is that, for the first time in a long time I'm happy. I know that we have a solid friendship and our relationship, despite a couple of bumps in the road here and there, has a very stable foundation. I'm comfortable, sated, and content to stay where I am. Honestly, I don't really see this changing.

We haven't been a couple for three years (and I can't really pinpoint when we did become a couple - that really just kind of happened when I wasn't looking), but we have been friends for three years, and without that, we wouldn't have the romantic relationship we do.

Sam, you are possibly my weirdest relationship to date, and that's probably because you're the most normal and sane boyfriend I've ever had, even if you don't look like anything resembling "normal." I love you, and I'm glad you're my friend first.

Bwhuh?

Mar. 21st, 2009 03:54 pm
jadedmusings: (Default)
If you are so absolutely desperate to get the last word in that you wind up leaving a chat room just so no one can say anything that you can see, it might behoove you to consider spending a little less time on the computer.

I'm rather boggled by the whole exchange, really. Was it so bad to be told you missed the point of a rhetorical question? Did you have to keep talking after two ops told you to drop it? Seriously, there was no need to keep going on just so you could have the last word. By that point it wasn't even about how you were wrong, you were talking about the fact we had said to drop it.

Look, I'm no shrink, but what I just saw was clearly a compulsive act on your part. It was like you couldn't stop yourself because another person had dared to speak on the matter after you, regardless of the fact that person is in a position of authority and was only speaking again because you did.

I swear, I don't know what it is about returners, but there are some pretty whacked out people in the community, and I don't mean that in a good way.

PSA

Feb. 3rd, 2009 12:20 am
jadedmusings: (Default)
I felt the need to announce that I am simply too awesome for people to handle. It's ok, though; there is no charge for my awesomeness. Nor do I charge for my attractiveness.

All you haters, just keep on hatin'. You know you're just jealous.

Now back to your regularly scheduled programming.

This announcement has been brought to you by Jade's Lack of Sleep.
jadedmusings: (Default)
I was watching Book 3 of Avatar last night and I happened to notice who voiced Firelord/Phoenix King Ozai. I got excited and posted my discovery to my channel on IRC. Here is why I wanted to cry after I had done so:

[01:33] <JadeNSC> ....Mark Hamill?
[01:33] <JadeNSC> O.o
[01:33] <JadeNSC> Did I read that right on the credits?
[01:33] <JadeNSC> ...I did.
[01:34] <JadeNSC> Dude!
[01:34] <Evelyn> I'd be more impressed if I knew who that was. :P
[01:34] <JadeNSC> ...
[01:34] <JadeNSC> .........
[01:34] <N_X[Laptop]> ...
[01:34] <Evelyn> It's Fuepepe, remember?
[01:34] <N_X[Laptop]> ...right.
[01:34] <JadeNSC> Luke Skywalker
[01:34] <N_X[Laptop]> Luke Skywalker.
[01:34] <N_X[Laptop]> Damn, beaten.
[01:34] <JadeNSC> O_O How can you not know????
[01:35] <JadeNSC> also voiced The Joker on the Batman animated series in the early 90s.
[01:35] <N_X[Laptop]> Yeah, he does lots of nice voice work. You know that with the BAtman animated series, he did the voice of the Joker?
[01:35] <Evelyn> Oh, shit. Even I know who that character is. He was a NPC in Star Wars Galaxies!
[01:35] * Evelyn is slapped, so hard.
[01:35] <JadeNSC> >.> Beaten again.
[01:35] <N_X[Laptop]> Shit.
[01:35] * JadeNSC facepalms.
[01:35] <N_X[Laptop]> ;_;

I swear sometimes I think we should revoke his geek cred. D:
jadedmusings: (Default)
Remora, check out what you missed! Elisha, nope, this wasn't about goats. :(

I've already stated that if people who are not devs/GMs are not reigned in, I will walk. I won't take this bullshit happening everytime someone has a minor nitpick over language. Really, this was fucking ridiculous. Yes, I'm annoyed.

Only relevant if you're in Returners community or know much of anything about FFRPG 3rd edition. )

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Wrathful and Unrepentant Jade

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