Wrathful and Unrepentant Jade (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
jadedmusings) wrote2009-05-06 12:51 am
jadedmusings) wrote2009-05-06 12:51 am
Entry tags:
Letters to asshats before I go to bed.
Dear Overcompensating Asshat,
I am terribly sorry about your tiny penis. The chrome Truck Nutz swinging from the rear bumper of your Chevy truck combined with the image of Calvin from Calvin and Hobbes peeing on your rear window probably help you alleviate some of your anxiety over your short-comings. I'm also glad you have found it healthy to share your anger at being dealt a small hand through rolling down your windows and blaring your rap music in somewhat busy downtown traffic. Your nickname "Douche Deuce Deuce" in Olde English font above the aforementioned peeing Calvin was a nice touch. I think it's great that you're so unashamed to own an inadequate reproductive organ. You sir are an inspiration to all men with small penises.
Know that tonight I am listening to Ben Folds's song "Rockin' the Suburbs" in your honor.
Let me tell y'all what it's like
Being male, middle-class and white
It's a bitch, if you don't believe
Listen up to my new CD...
Keep fighting the power,
Jade
And from last week:
Dear foul-mouthed mother at the restaurant,
Hi, my mother, son, and I were seated at the table next to yours. We noticed your adorable year-old son right away, and I saw that he was getting tired of being held by his grandmother. We heard him ask for you and he got a little fussy. I remember those days with my own son, and sometimes, especially when you're trying to pay for your food or make an important phone call, it can get a little frustrating. However, unlike you, I apparently realized a toddler that young doesn't understand that Mommy can't always be there right away. With this in mind, was it truly necessary to say loud enough for our entire section of the restaurant to hear, "I'm coming, SHIT!"? I'm sorry your child is frustrating you, but he can't help it. You can.
Furthermore, would it have killed you to apologize for your language when my son, who has a speech-delay and doesn't quite yet grasp the concept of curse words, repeated you word for word? (Oh, yes, I think you heard him.) I was able to correct him, but not before the words left his mouth. My language is far from G-rated 24/7, but I would think at a family-friendly restaurant with many young children around you might be able to filter your language. There is a time and a place, and I by no means think parents or women in general shouldn't be allowed to use stronger words when a situation calls for it, but I was taught to be respectful when sharing a space with strangers. Were I in your shoes, I would have apologized not only to my son right away, but to the people sitting with me and near me. I would have been too embarrassed not to.
Here's hoping to be a fly on the wall when your son develops as colorful a vocabulary as you,
Jade
I am terribly sorry about your tiny penis. The chrome Truck Nutz swinging from the rear bumper of your Chevy truck combined with the image of Calvin from Calvin and Hobbes peeing on your rear window probably help you alleviate some of your anxiety over your short-comings. I'm also glad you have found it healthy to share your anger at being dealt a small hand through rolling down your windows and blaring your rap music in somewhat busy downtown traffic. Your nickname "
Know that tonight I am listening to Ben Folds's song "Rockin' the Suburbs" in your honor.
Let me tell y'all what it's like
Being male, middle-class and white
It's a bitch, if you don't believe
Listen up to my new CD...
Keep fighting the power,
Jade
And from last week:
Dear foul-mouthed mother at the restaurant,
Hi, my mother, son, and I were seated at the table next to yours. We noticed your adorable year-old son right away, and I saw that he was getting tired of being held by his grandmother. We heard him ask for you and he got a little fussy. I remember those days with my own son, and sometimes, especially when you're trying to pay for your food or make an important phone call, it can get a little frustrating. However, unlike you, I apparently realized a toddler that young doesn't understand that Mommy can't always be there right away. With this in mind, was it truly necessary to say loud enough for our entire section of the restaurant to hear, "I'm coming, SHIT!"? I'm sorry your child is frustrating you, but he can't help it. You can.
Furthermore, would it have killed you to apologize for your language when my son, who has a speech-delay and doesn't quite yet grasp the concept of curse words, repeated you word for word? (Oh, yes, I think you heard him.) I was able to correct him, but not before the words left his mouth. My language is far from G-rated 24/7, but I would think at a family-friendly restaurant with many young children around you might be able to filter your language. There is a time and a place, and I by no means think parents or women in general shouldn't be allowed to use stronger words when a situation calls for it, but I was taught to be respectful when sharing a space with strangers. Were I in your shoes, I would have apologized not only to my son right away, but to the people sitting with me and near me. I would have been too embarrassed not to.
Here's hoping to be a fly on the wall when your son develops as colorful a vocabulary as you,
Jade