What is this I don't even...

[jadedmusings]

You know, when it comes to my body I've thought about a lot of things. I don't like my flab, but I love my curves. I'm kind of hairy for a girl (or so society tells me), but that's OK because, hey, it's just my genetics. I'm too pale, but on the other hand the paleness contrasts with my tattoos for a lovely effect.

Yet, one thing I have never done is stand in front of a mirror, look down at my genitalia and think, "Hmm, you know what's missing? Shiny gems right above my labia! [Link NSFW]."

It's called Vajazzle. The term is a hybrid of "Vajayjay" and "Bedazzle," and I'm sure any of us who came of age in the late 80's and early 90's, or who spent any amount of time in the South know what a Bedazzler is. (By the way, you can still buy those things in case you ever get the urge to pull out your old denim jacket and give it some pizazz.)

Vajazzle

Vajazzle

I want my lady-bits to be a lot of things - healthy, clean, and fun to play with - but "shiny and jewel encrusted" aren't among them. YMMV and all that, but I think I'll keep to my boring old pale skin.

ETA: From the article: "She assured me that they’re pretty strong, and that Completely Bare guarantees their Vajazzles for 5 days. When she reminded me not to engage in any “vigorous activity for at least the first day” I couldn’t help but laugh to myself… vigorous activity? I should be so lucky."

Um, if there's shiny gems being glued to my private parts, I'm sure as hell going to show those off. I mean, what's the point if all I'm going to do is cover them up?

Comments

[c-smith-author.livejournal.com]

THERE ARE NO WORDS.

And seriously -- I (a relatively accepting human being) would question the sanity of anyone who finds that attractive.

Also, I'm presuming you'd have to wax first. Imagine glue+stubble+jewels.

Just broke my brain now.

[jadedissola.livejournal.com]

Yes, the first step is to completely wax the, ah, area and then apply the crystals. Apparently this all started with Jennifer Love Hewitt since she wrote about "vajazzling" in her autobiography or mentioned it in an interview. I think she said something about making herself feel pretty or something. I don't know, there was this scream of horror in my head at the time and I couldn't process it.

[serigo.livejournal.com]

well, if the gem is big enough and your lover gets teeth/hair/etc stuff in their teeth while doing their business down their, they can use it to remove the offending thing lodged in their teeth.

I'm just saying.