Wrathful and Unrepentant Jade (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
jadedmusings) wrote2009-02-25 11:57 am
jadedmusings) wrote2009-02-25 11:57 am
It's time to play sex or consequences!
Reading through some of my LJ things today, I encountered another misogynistic rant about women "oopsing" or "trapping" men by becoming pregnant and forcing them to pay child support. I'm not going to try to tackle the logic behind a woman enduring nine months of pregnancy, labor, post-partum healing, and then a couple of decades of childrearing for the sake of keeping one man who clearly doesn't want to be there.* (Seriously, as much as I love my boyfriend, he isn't worth that, nor are a majority of men. I'm pretty sure even if I did do such a dishonest thing, it'd be the end of all romantic involvement.) Instead, I have other questions to ask.
Barring one-night stands and hook-ups, why is it unreasonable to expect some sort of communication when it comes to the possible outcomes of "doing the deed"? From where I sit, I am allowing someone to put various body parts into strategically located orifices on my body, and I'm subjecting him to the sight of my nude form under questionable lighting conditions. Clearly, I've reached a deep level of intimacy here. Is it so unreasonable to take five minutes to sit down and discuss a worst-case scenario before any fluids have been exchanged? Do people think such talk might lessen the passion? Personally, I've yet to experience that myself. If anything, being open and honest with a partner helps me to relax and enjoy myself more because there's not a voice in the back of my head freaking out over the "what ifs." I know the answers to those questions beforehand.
I understand that ultimately a woman has the ability to say she wants a pregnancy or not.** However, she does not get pregnant on her own, and it is up to both parties to take the proper precautions to better their chances of avoiding pregnancy. If a male never wants children and still wishes to engage in sexual intercourse, shouldn't he take responsibility over his own biology and either use a condom every time, or seek sterilization rather than placing the burden of birth control solely on the woman's shoulders?
I know, me and my crazy Earth logic.
* = I am not saying it's never happened, but the frequency with which it possibly happens is greatly exaggerated. In fact, birth control sabotage is likely in abusive relationships wherein the male partner intentionally tries to impregnant his unwilling partner. In most cases where someone is accused of going off the pill, she may have simply taken an antibiotic or other prescribed medication that negated the hormones in her pills, or her biology may work against her and she's one of those rare women for whom the pill doesn't work. Shit happens.
** = Of course, that depends on where she lives, her economic status, and whether or not she's in an abusive situation. As much as people scream "A woman can always abort!" the truth is there are a lot of obstacles to a woman obtaining an abortion here in the US. Just because the procedure is still legal it doesn't mean it's easy to get.
Barring one-night stands and hook-ups, why is it unreasonable to expect some sort of communication when it comes to the possible outcomes of "doing the deed"? From where I sit, I am allowing someone to put various body parts into strategically located orifices on my body, and I'm subjecting him to the sight of my nude form under questionable lighting conditions. Clearly, I've reached a deep level of intimacy here. Is it so unreasonable to take five minutes to sit down and discuss a worst-case scenario before any fluids have been exchanged? Do people think such talk might lessen the passion? Personally, I've yet to experience that myself. If anything, being open and honest with a partner helps me to relax and enjoy myself more because there's not a voice in the back of my head freaking out over the "what ifs." I know the answers to those questions beforehand.
I understand that ultimately a woman has the ability to say she wants a pregnancy or not.** However, she does not get pregnant on her own, and it is up to both parties to take the proper precautions to better their chances of avoiding pregnancy. If a male never wants children and still wishes to engage in sexual intercourse, shouldn't he take responsibility over his own biology and either use a condom every time, or seek sterilization rather than placing the burden of birth control solely on the woman's shoulders?
I know, me and my crazy Earth logic.
* = I am not saying it's never happened, but the frequency with which it possibly happens is greatly exaggerated. In fact, birth control sabotage is likely in abusive relationships wherein the male partner intentionally tries to impregnant his unwilling partner. In most cases where someone is accused of going off the pill, she may have simply taken an antibiotic or other prescribed medication that negated the hormones in her pills, or her biology may work against her and she's one of those rare women for whom the pill doesn't work. Shit happens.
** = Of course, that depends on where she lives, her economic status, and whether or not she's in an abusive situation. As much as people scream "A woman can always abort!" the truth is there are a lot of obstacles to a woman obtaining an abortion here in the US. Just because the procedure is still legal it doesn't mean it's easy to get.