At least it's not LJ being an idiot this time?

Oh bloody hell, here we go:

Amazon is apparently removing the sales rankings of books featuring GLBT content citing concerns over "adult" content. However, they are only seemingly targeting GLBT books, and not all of them have explicit sex scenes (in fact, one had a single line that alluded to sex). Someone pointed out that authors like Laurell K. Hamilton are unaffected, and I will certainly say that Hamilton is decidedly adult writing. Yet, there are no GLBT scenes in her books. It seems most of the het romance novels are unaffected too.

For more information:

http://markprobst.livejournal.com/15293.html
http://community.livejournal.com/meta_writer/11369.html
http://community.livejournal.com/meta_writer/11560.html (A collection of links can be found here.)

For a list of books affected (continually being updated I think):

http://community.livejournal.com/meta_writer/11992.html

I urge you to read comments to learn even more. Also, Twitter it with #AmazonFail.

Yet another case of people not being able to separate a sexuality from actual sex.

Oh, Cosmo.

Cosmo, the magazine that epitomizes the voice of feminists everywhere (yes, my tongue is firmly implanted in my cheek there) has asked actor Ryan Hansen (who?) to tell us women 10 things guys wish we knew. I'm not sure how Ryan Hansen was granted the authority to speak for dudes everywhere; I'm guessing beer was involved, and probably some sports trivia because that's how all men are, you know. (See what I did there?) Anyway, he's speaking for men and we women better listen up.

Now, Jezebel responded with a list of their own, and Amanda Marcotte did a great takedown as well. However, reading the list myself, I couldn't help but write about it as well.

1. Communication is the most important thing in a relationship. But if a guy won’t listen or talk to you, take off your bra. Then he’ll focus a little more.

I am continually amazed by my breasts. I really thought that their biological function was to provide nourishment for my offspring, and to serve as an errogenous zone. I never realized that they also served to improve my relationship's communication, or that they were more important to pay attention to than my thoughts and feelings. If Ryan Hansen hadn't told me, I would forever insist that my man look me in the eye and listen to me. Oh, what a fool I've been. Next time I want a man's attention, I'll take my top off, but I'm still not sure that'll get me better customer service at Gamestop.

2. You’re beautiful. You don’t have to cover up your face with so much makeup.

But I never wear makeup! Ever! So I guess this means I should cake it on? Maybe I should ask Jeffree Star for pointers? I mean, it's not as though anyone has ever said to me, "Oh, if you'd only wear a little lipstick/rouge/eyeliner you'd be so pretty."

Oh, wait...

3. We love it when you laugh at our jokes, even when they’re not funny.

I bet you love it when I fake orgasms too. Don't worry, precious, I'll do everything I can not to bruise your sensitive ego. You will be my Eddie Izzard, and I'll tell you that it does happen to all men, and that size doesn't matter.

4. Being spontaneous at times is a must. Being spontaneous all the time is a crazy person.

Now if only I knew where this imaginary line is, but gosh, all these female hormones and organs make me so unpredictable and crazy already. I'm sure you'll be ever so kind as to tell me when I'm being a crazy psycho hosebeast, and when I should don the French Maid outfit after your hard day at work.

5. If we have a dog, you better like it.

Oh good, then I'm sure you'll get up to walk the dog in the middle of the night, and you'll wipe up the puddles of pee with a song in your heart. Oh, and, while the dog always gets to sleep in the bed, sometimes you'll be relegated to the couch. Hey, I don't just like having a dog, I love it.

6. Girls don’t poop, so don’t claim you do. You can fart — because farting is funny — but we don’t want to know that you poop.

I'm sorry, Mr. Hansen, but what planet do you live on? Girls never have the same biological functions men do. We have evolved in such a way that while we're out shopping for more shoes, we eliminate our bodily wastes. This is why we have so many shoes (amirite, ladeez?). When we say we're powdering our noses, we really are - unless we're pulling out our cell phones to call our best friends (who may or may not be gay men) and telling them all about how wonderful our date with you has been.

7. Never call us out in front of our friends — we hate that.

Yes, I will allow you to insult me/my gender/my family, or I will allow you to continue making a complete ass of yourself in front of your friends without interference. I know I'm just there to look pretty and to make you feel better about yourself. Plus, you're just so good at being an idiot on your own that I love watching.

8. Concerning PDA: Anything that can be described as “cute” is okay. Anything that can be described as “mating” is not okay.

You may grab my ass or grope my breasts at random intervals, even at the little league game, but cupping your junk or slapping you on your backside is out of the question. I got it.

9. It’s really cool when a girl wears jeans and a hoodie. But we hate those matching velour sweatsuits that make you look like Kim Kardashian.

Fashion sense: You has it. I don't.

10. Run for the door if a guy has too much gel in his hair and is too tan and it’s not even summer.

If a guy cares about his appearance, he's either gay, or he might actually want me to do more than stand there and look pretty on his arm. Gee, Mr. Hansen, you've saved me from possible relationship disaster! Thank you, so much. I shall share my newfound knowledge with all my female friends. Thank deity for you, and for Cosmo!