Precious and Fragile Things

[MASSIVE TRIGGER WARNINGS FOR CHILD SEXUAL ABUSE AND DOMESTIC VIOLENCE] Either scroll past this or click on the links with severe caution.

There is a sixteen year-old boy on Tumblr who calls himself a pedophile and admits he's sexually attracted to children, and people who respond to this with understandable revulsion and tell him to go away are the mean ones because, oh my god, he doesn't abuse children! He has no intention of ever acting on his attraction so why are we vilifying him?

And then he showed up to respond to a comment I made on sf_drama so he could defend a comic depicting one woman savagely beating another and calling her a c**t as "funny." All because she said she hated lolicon (and the comic itself was made in response to what is legitimate criticism of the inherent creepiness of lolicon as it sexualizes children; fictional children, yes, but children all the same). And, as you can see from the links it goes downhill from there.

And full disclosure here, I am more unhappy about a sixteen year old able to live in a world where he can be fucking supported for having a sexual attraction to children than I am about the entire argument I had with him over the comic. Maybe some of that has to do with something that happened to me when I was five fucking years old with a boy who wasn't all that much younger than Mr. Draven. (And fuck him for soiling a name from a movie I actually like.)

But I'm totally sure Mr. Draven will hold to his promise never to touch a child because we all know pedophiles are the most honest and trustworthy people on the planet. (Fuck yes, that's sarcasm.)

So I checked out the author's website for his novel. I know it's a man not because there's a picture of him on the website or because his name is Michael. No, the "story overview" page told me he was male, and I'm not referring to the three(!) animated ads for "Desktop Strippers" either. Dude, I know your novel is self-published, but even self-published authors ought to have at least a thin veneer of professionalism, particularly if you're trying to entice women like me into reading your not-a-vampire-novel vampire novel. (No, that's how it's described, only I make it funny.)

Anyway, the Story Overview page includes pictures from Google image searches of half-naked women among a couple of gruesome images of a mutilated head and a corpse in an advanced state of decomposition. And then there's the overview itself. Reading between the lines I get, "I've never had a meaningful relationship with a woman because I can't think of them as anything other than a place to put my dick."

( Weak snarking under here. )

I'm not sure whether I should laugh or weep over the fact that this novel is 130,000+ words.

I'm done. Just done. Go check it out if you like. (And if you read the reviews page, note how many people are from the same town and how all of them are from the Southeast. Family and friends praising your work? Nah, I totally believe this guy is that brilliant of a writer. Yeeeeeah.)

You can read what's happened here. Basically, I must think anyone who plays a bad guy is bad, and I must have forgotten there are those with mental illness who are violent. I shouldn't pretend otherwise even though I never said such a thing never happened, nor did I ever say anywhere in there that you can't play whatever the hell you want to be or that people were horrible for playing murderers. (Hello, someone ask me about Selene sometime. She's a fucking monster in that regard.)

Bottom line: Basing a character on a real person who committed real atrocities against real people has the potential to be way more offensive than making up a character out of whole cloth. Names carry baggage and color perceptions and just because you think it's fine to role-play a real-life Nazi for fun doesn't mean the rest of the role-play world is going to agree with you or not think you're being a douchecanoe.

And I'm done with people who want to think I'm being wholly unreasonable and unfair and BAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWW!

Dear #returners denizen,

I really, really, really want to feel some sort of sympathy for you. You're lonely, single, and have been that way for quite some time. If some of the statements you've made have been any indication, you also probably suffer from some type of untreated depression (at least, you've never mentioned seeking help). I can empathize so much with that, I really can. However, I have such a difficult time feeling much of any compassion for you, and here's why:

You overshare. A lot.

Look, if you're depressed, I want you to reach out for some help. A few people have been really awesome toward you, and the ops have allowed you to vent. That's not the problem and I applaud you for being brave enough to do so. No, the problem was times like today. No one there needed to know you were masturbating. Sure, your roommate walked in on you, but you didn't need to announce such a thing in there. Yes, we're all abunch of immature people who often let our inner twelve year-olds run amok; however, we stop short of revealing personal information like you did. I'm really uncomfortable being in a gaming-related chatroom and hearing about someone's masturbatory exploits. Boundaries. Learn some.

Again, it's not the depressed venting (even though that can sometimes get a little frustrating), it's the specific sex talk. Just something to think about, okay?

Trying to be understanding,

Jade

Okay, so I was feeling pretty shitty, but not so shitty that I can't enjoy some schadenfreude. This came up during a discussion about all the ways in which previous guild games have failed. FFRPG Monster Hunters has only been going for maybe a month now, and already they're chugging along on the SS Failboat.

[00:31:26] <Anonymous> And ... uh ... FFMH [FFRPG Monster Hunters]... well ... okay so the head GM designed monsters specifically so his wife's character would be good against them.
[00:31:27] <Anonymous> And told us.
[00:32:27] <JadeNSC> ...are you serious?
[00:32:34] <JadeNSC> Saan really has been stupid.
[00:32:37] <Anonymous> Yeah.
[00:32:40] <Anonymous> I almost quit right then.
[00:32:43] <JadeNSC> (And can I quote you? >.> I'll hide your name.)
[00:32:53] <Anonymous> Oh, yeah.
[00:32:59] <Anonymous> He told the whole channel.
[00:33:08] <Anonymous> It's common knowledge.
[00:33:23] <Anonymous> It's also common knowledge he FAILED.
[00:33:29] <Anonymous> Which is amusing.
[00:33:48] <Anonymous> Because he designed the monsters against his wife's character ... if she had leveled in BigMo's session.
[00:33:57] <Anonymous> But BigMo canceled due to lack of players.
[00:34:05] <Anonymous> So she didn't have the spell.
[00:34:12] <Anonymous> Made me laugh.

At least my instincts to stay away from this campaign were right on the money. (They were right about Triumph too, but I told them to shut up that day and that I wore the important decision-making pants. Someday I'll learn to listen better.)

Taken directly from the #TriumphOOC room last night:

<LordSaanjun> Hey, in case a GM is listening who hasn't already heard me bitch? I feel like the IM thing tonight was a bad call.
<LordSaanjun> I disagree with your interpretation of the IM rules, straight up, and I feel like you came down too hard on me.
<LordSaanjun> I don't want to make a big stink over this, but Julian said I should air the grievance in the open, so I am doing such.
<Lucia`> Hm?
<Bran> Hi.
<LordSaanjun> Just so people know.
<LordSaanjun> I don't even really want to talk a lot more about it tonight because I'll probably say something fucking retarded.
<LordSaanjun> So you guys can discuss that amongst yourselves.

I think saying something publicly was "fucking retarded" to use your words, but I'm one of the GMs who should feel so ashamed for disagreeing with your perfect intrepetation of the IM rules, so what could I possibly know?

How did we come down too hard on you? By telling you no? I'm sorry if your precious ego can't handle being told you can't do one little IM stunt, but for you act like this about it is beyond ridiculous. I know how old you are and I just can't believe someone who graduated college would have this big of an entitlement complex. No, you don't get a free pass because you have some dev cred. You're not a GM of Triumph and, to be blunt, your handling of GP was pretty damned appalling, so really? I don't think you have any room to speak on how the GM team should handle anything.

You don't want to make a big stink over this, yet you posted it in the public room for players and GMs to see it? And I'm so glad you gave us permission to discuss it amongst ourselves. I mean, until you said something, I didn't realize I was an adult capable of thinking about this complex issue all by myself. Since you did so, allow me to make a big stink over this.

You wanted to use an IM version of Pep Up to help Julian's AC. To spare some confusion, I'll post what Pep Up is here:

Pep Up (1 MP)
Target: Single
Type: Recovery
Reflectable: Yes

The caster transfers their life force into the target in the form of a glorious golden beam. Pep Up restores a single target to its maximum HP value; after the effects of Pep Up have been resolved, the Caster is automatically reduced to 0 HP, regardless of their current HP score.

The hang up, as I understood it was that very last line there: "..the Caster is automatically reduced to 0 HP, regardless of their current HP score." You wanted to do a "part-way" Pep Up so that your character wouldn't wind up KO'ed. Julian said no, but to be sure he asked the other GMs present, and we all said no as well because, quite frankly, we don't see any way you can do a partial Pep Up. The spell itself only costs one magic point to start with, and there's not a whole lot of wiggle room when the spell lays it out on the line that regardless of your HP, you are reduced zero hit points when the casting is done. It'd be different if we were talking about, say, White Wind as that spell doesn't reduce your hit points when it's over.

Now, some people when being told no either accept that they can't do what they desired and drop it, or they ask "What can I do instead that would acheive the same goal?" You, however, decided to go off on us and pretty much tell us we're abunch of morons who don't understand how Intuitive Magic actually works. You want to know what you could have done differently? Here, I asked NinjaWeazel (arbitrator of Triumph, which means he has the final say in everything), to explain why he felt we were in the right to tell you no and what else you could have done instead (please overlook the typos as this was late at night and over IRC):

[01:05:18] <JadeNSC> can I ask you to expand on why you mentioned White Wind and why Saan shouldn't have intuitive healing magic?
[01:08:51] <Wystan> Sure. Intuitive Magic needs certain types of spells to give it the proper keyword. I.E you need to know Fire before you can IM lighting a candle. White WInd I mentioned specifically because its the one ABLU spell that is Type: Recovery I can think of that doesn't also involve screwing yourself over, i.e Pep Up, or draining damage, i.e. Red Feast or whatever its called now.
[01:09:14] <JadeNSC> Still Red Feast.
[01:09:20] <JadeNSC> But thanks. ^_^;
[01:09:51] <Wystan> If he had been like 'hey can I Pep Up the dragon and pass out momentarily insteadof KOing myself since there is no real HP damage' that would have been one thing.
[01:09:55] <Wystan> but it was 'hay can I Pep Up except not actually'
[01:10:07] <Wystan> and people were in the right to tell him no
[01:11:25] <Wystan> or even if he had Red Feasted like 'hey I would like to wound-transfer that booboo from the dragon to me' that wouls also have been A-OK.

My god. He makes it sound so simple. And yes, I got his permission to quote him.

You know, this wouldn't be so bad if we didn't take flak from several players all the damn time. This right here is just one example from one player. And all we did was tell him no, but everytime we do this people act like we've committed some sort of horrific crime and are holding their precious characters back. The only reason I'm calling Saanjun out by name right now is because he made it public himself and he did it at a time when most of the GMs were already in bed or didn't want to talk on the matter. In short, he said something when we weren't able to explain our side of the story to the other players, thereby making himself out to be some sort of victim. Yeah, I don't play that way.

Next time you think we GMs are having all kinds of fun and that we're being mean to you specifically? I'm going to link to this and several other examples of when we are outright disrespected. Please people, it's only a game. Get over yourselves and move on.

Remember this person? Yeah, she roleplays about how you'd expect. She's not horrible at the rp itself, but her concepts are...how to put this nicely? Ah, kind of ridiculous.

( Anyway, her character was introduced last week and she had a chance to rp with a couple of us... )