Letters to asshats before I go to bed.

( Dear Overcompensating Asshat )

And from last week:

( Dear foul-mouthed mother at the restaurant )

Sick of the bullshit.

Attention polyamorous people (with apologies to my sane poly friends):

I know you exist. I was once, like you, in an open relationship. Believe it or not, most people online and on LJ grasp the concept of open relationships as well. I'm glad you and your partner(s) are happy with the arrangements you have made. Good for you. However, I have one little complaint:

Stop bringing up polyamory anytime someone mentions infidelity in monogamous relationships! The two, as you are so eager to point out, have absolutely nothing in common. Nada, zip, zero, zilch!

Look, the discussion we were having centered on a married couple who have made no arrangements to seek other sexual partners. One spouse is suspected of cheating, which means he is sleeping with a woman his wife neither knows about or approves of. Kind of the complete opposite of polyamory/open relationships, right? Then why is it you come in and say, "I'm totally happy being polyamorous, but everyone keeps saying it's like cheating." Um, no, we weren't. No one even mentioned polyamory before you did because, surprise, we were talking about a monogamous relationship.

I'm so sorry you feel so oppressed by nonexistant people in the community ragging on your relationship choices. Yet, I didn't see anyone call you or anyone else who identifies as poly "evil cheaters." What we said was that if the husband is cheating on his wife, then he's wrong and should grow up and talk to his wife or leave the marriage if he's that unhappy. That's it. No one condemned any type of relationship be it monogamous or open. We condemned cheating.

Here's a gift certificate to Home Depot. Kindly go build yourself a bridge to get over yourself.

Attention sexist asshats:

Just because a wife is "bitchy," or difficult to get along with doesn't mean the husband has an excuse to cheat. He's an adult. He can tell his wife her behavior upsets him, or that he's thinking of seeing other people. He can leave the relationship if he can't agree to be faithful to her. Yes, maybe she's a jerk and maybe you can understand why someone in that relationship would cheat, but that doesn't make cheating right. It's still wrong. This comes from someone who cheated in the past (and who probably had a "better" reason to cheat than he does). It's always better to be an adult and admit that the relationship needs fixing or to walk away.

Furthermore, saying you'd "have strangled her a long time ago," or committed some other act of violence on her does indeed make you a misogynist. It's not cool, not even remotely.

Also, why is it that when a husband cheats, it's his wife's fault? I think if the wife was cheating, we'd hear about what a slut she was, and if she's a mother we'd hear how she's ruining her children's lives. Yet, in this case, she's being cheated on and all anyone can talk about is how "the bitch deserved it." No, that's not an example of a double standard. I must be hallucinating.

Attention sanctity of marriage police:

Relationships have a shelf life. Some relationships can go for a few days, a few months, and some last as long as both people are still living. Shit happens, people change, and circumstances change as well. It's called life. Not every couple that gets married should stay married. Yes, even if children are involved. Children are not oblivious idiots. They can pick up on tension in a relationship, and if Mommy and Daddy pretend everything is ok while obviously being miserable, the children will get a warped view of relationships.

Also, single moms are not some horrible thing. Most of us handle our lives rather well, and we do it without introducing our children to a new daddy every weekend. Saying we should wait until the child is 18 to have a life? That's pretty fucking ridiculous, and I'm sure most children want to see their mothers happy than lonely.

What is this nonsense? Make Jade Hate Humanity Week?