Writer's Block: What is your muse?

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All the time, and it tends to impede the process. When I don't get the reaction I was going for, or when something goes ignored even when I point it out to specific people, it hurts and I feel less inclined to continue doing it. Still, I'll write when the mood strikes (working on something right now as I'm trying out this idea I have), but there's still a lot I don't show to people at all and keep to myself precisely because their imagined reactions can occasionally worry me.

(I am working on how well I take criticism, but when my critique is sometimes "That was...nice," I get frustrated and annoyed. That doesn't tell me anything except you thought it was crap and are trying to spare my feelings, or that it just wasn't that great.)

Ever feel like you were Murphy's Guinea Pig?

Dear Universe,

Thank you for once again proving me wrong. I had thought you couldn't top giving Sam Bell's Palsy a few days before his birthday, but now you've gone and given his roommate Swine Flu. Wow. Just...wow, (wo)man.

I know, I probably shouldn't have challenged you like that, though I didn't realize I was issuing you a challenge. I was honestly impressed, and now I'm fully in awe and fearful of what you might have up your theoretical sleeve next. All I know is I'm going to be on the look out for any black cat that threatens to cross my path, and I'm going to step over any crack in the sidewalk I see. It's not you...well, okay, I suppose it is you. I'm going to try very hard not to give you anymore excuses to poke at me.

Love,

Jade

P.S.: I still think the idea of Sam wearing an eye patch was a nice touch, though I know he's annoyed at the fact he can't blink his left eye.

*****

Sam's roommate goes back to the doctor in a couple of days. If he's no longer contagious (and no one else in the house is showing symptoms), I'll stay at his house this weekend. However, if the roommate is still contagious, or someone else has it, I'll be getting a hotel room. Sam's taking precautions (it helps that he has the entire upstairs to himself) and washing his hands, and I recommended disinfecting any shared surfaces before using them. Of course, if Sam gets it, there's no way I can go even with the temptation to take care of my sick boyfriend. I know my immune system sucks majorly and I'm still worried about the risk of bringing Swine Flu home to the kiddo. It all sort of hinges on what the doctor says Thursday I suppose. Damnit, I do not want to miss out on another birthday of Sam's, especially not after all the plans we've made, that and the fact it's one of those milestone birthdays.

Either way, I think I'm going to buy some immune-boosting vitamins or supplements while I'm out today.

I swear my relationship with Sam and everything that happens in it is so much more ridiculous than anything even Hollywood could imagine. WTF? Seriously, What. The. Fuck?