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"Shed Some Light"
Shinedown
I'm falling apart, again
And I can't find a way to make amends
And I'm looking in both directions
But it's make believe, it's all pretend
So...
Shed some light on me
And hold me up in disbelief
And shed some light on me
And tell me something that I'll believe in
It's innocence within the maze
But I have chosen the wrong way
I'm still getting over who I was
There's no sense of trust, there's no definition of love
So...
Shed some light on me
And hold me up in disbelief
And shed some light on me
And tell me something that I'll believe in
I know now, it's not who you are
It's who you know
And I see clearly now, which way to go
I remember the way I fell from above
And I recall the way I was
So...
Shed some light on me
And hold me up in disbelief
And shed some light on me
And tell me something that I'll believe in
Shed some ling on me
And hold me up in disbelief
And shed some light on me
And tell me something that I'll believe
Tell me something that I'll...
Tell me something that I'll believe
Tell me something that I'll believe
Something I'll believe
Jan. 17th, 2010
(In response to a question about what you would do if you overheard your twelve year-old talking about oral sex with a friend over the phone.)
Person One: At that age I'd assume they were lying to impress their friends. I'd probably try to have a chat with them about peer pressure and how they should be themselves and don't have to put on an act to impress anybody. Though I'm not sure that any 12 year old would be convinced by that!
Person Two: Ohhhh honey. You have so much ahead of you. Be grateful your babies are still, in fact, babies.
It is a pretty well-known fact that middle school kids are doing this and more, not just talking about it.
Person Three: rainbow parties are the cool thing. i can't wait to pick out assorted lip gloss colors for my daughter when she enters middle school. fun times ahead !
From here.
Really? You know, I remember rumors like this flying around when I was in middle school sixteen years ago. However, they were rumors from urban legends spread by fearful parents (though they weren't called rainbow parties* back then as we weren't that creative yet). Oh, yes, there was a twelve year-old girl at my school who had a baby, but that wasn't a consensual sex situation (her uncle molested her - how's that for fucked up?).
Maybe it's because I live in such a rural area, but I seriously want to see reliable sources in the form of (unbiased) academic studies stating that masses of pre-teens are having sex with wild abandon while all these concerned and involved parents are somehow unaware of it. I'm sorry, I don't buy it, I really don't. Children can be sneaky and get away with loads of stuff without their parents ever knowing, but that many children in that many schools across the country...yeah, I really can't wrap my head around it. It's like that pregnancy pact thing that turned out to be only between two or three girls and it was blown way out of proportion by the adults. I think this is more of a case of one or two couples getting caught and then people clutching their pearls thinking that the exception must be the rule.
Yeah, yeah, I'm a naive young parent who has no idea of what's going on. Nevermind I have set foot in a public school in the last five years, and it all seems to be the same as it was when I was in school, only now you have Spongebob instead of Care Bears and the non-CGI Chipmunks.
ETA: Oh thank deity, people brought some snese to that thread and linked to a New York Times article from 2009.
I'll ignore the two-parent household thing because as a single mom I don't think it's totally impossible to provide appropriate levels of parental supervision for my son, and it's offensive to insinuate that one-parent household equals only one authority figure in the child's life to help keep tabs on them. Growing up I knew plenty of kids in two-parent households who were getting into just as much if not more trouble than the children from so-called "broken homes." Some of them weren't caught because they were rich, white, and their parents knew the right sort of people to keep them out of trouble.
But anyway, my point stands. There's no oral sex epidemic and little Johnny and Suzy aren't picking out lip gloss colors for rainbow parties.
* = I know what a "rainbow party" is, but the sensible side of me can't help but think "Man, that sounds incredibly boring and not fun at all." I mean, really? Stopping after going down on a guy to put on another shade of lipstick only to do it again? Isn't that frustrating for both people? I guess I'm just too boring and conventional. I don't want to stop sex to apply makeup, it kind of defeats the purpose of getting down and dirty.
Person One: At that age I'd assume they were lying to impress their friends. I'd probably try to have a chat with them about peer pressure and how they should be themselves and don't have to put on an act to impress anybody. Though I'm not sure that any 12 year old would be convinced by that!
Person Two: Ohhhh honey. You have so much ahead of you. Be grateful your babies are still, in fact, babies.
It is a pretty well-known fact that middle school kids are doing this and more, not just talking about it.
Person Three: rainbow parties are the cool thing. i can't wait to pick out assorted lip gloss colors for my daughter when she enters middle school. fun times ahead !
From here.
Really? You know, I remember rumors like this flying around when I was in middle school sixteen years ago. However, they were rumors from urban legends spread by fearful parents (though they weren't called rainbow parties* back then as we weren't that creative yet). Oh, yes, there was a twelve year-old girl at my school who had a baby, but that wasn't a consensual sex situation (her uncle molested her - how's that for fucked up?).
Maybe it's because I live in such a rural area, but I seriously want to see reliable sources in the form of (unbiased) academic studies stating that masses of pre-teens are having sex with wild abandon while all these concerned and involved parents are somehow unaware of it. I'm sorry, I don't buy it, I really don't. Children can be sneaky and get away with loads of stuff without their parents ever knowing, but that many children in that many schools across the country...yeah, I really can't wrap my head around it. It's like that pregnancy pact thing that turned out to be only between two or three girls and it was blown way out of proportion by the adults. I think this is more of a case of one or two couples getting caught and then people clutching their pearls thinking that the exception must be the rule.
Yeah, yeah, I'm a naive young parent who has no idea of what's going on. Nevermind I have set foot in a public school in the last five years, and it all seems to be the same as it was when I was in school, only now you have Spongebob instead of Care Bears and the non-CGI Chipmunks.
ETA: Oh thank deity, people brought some snese to that thread and linked to a New York Times article from 2009.
As for that supposed epidemic of oral sex, especially among younger teenagers: national statistics on the behavior have only recently been collected, and they are not as alarming as some reports would have you believe. About 16 percent of teenagers say they have had oral sex but haven’t yet had intercourse. Researchers say children’s more relaxed attitude about oral sex probably reflects a similar change among adults since the 1950s. In addition, some teenagers may view oral sex as “safer,” since unplanned pregnancy is not an issue.
Health researchers say parents who fret about teenage sex often fail to focus on the important lessons they can learn from the kids who aren’t having sex. Teenagers with more parental supervision, who come from two-parent households and who are doing well in school are more likely to delay sex until their late teens or beyond. [Emphasis Mine]
I'll ignore the two-parent household thing because as a single mom I don't think it's totally impossible to provide appropriate levels of parental supervision for my son, and it's offensive to insinuate that one-parent household equals only one authority figure in the child's life to help keep tabs on them. Growing up I knew plenty of kids in two-parent households who were getting into just as much if not more trouble than the children from so-called "broken homes." Some of them weren't caught because they were rich, white, and their parents knew the right sort of people to keep them out of trouble.
But anyway, my point stands. There's no oral sex epidemic and little Johnny and Suzy aren't picking out lip gloss colors for rainbow parties.
* = I know what a "rainbow party" is, but the sensible side of me can't help but think "Man, that sounds incredibly boring and not fun at all." I mean, really? Stopping after going down on a guy to put on another shade of lipstick only to do it again? Isn't that frustrating for both people? I guess I'm just too boring and conventional. I don't want to stop sex to apply makeup, it kind of defeats the purpose of getting down and dirty.
An Open Letter to Johnny Depp
Jan. 17th, 2010 09:42 pm[Big fat trigger warning]
Dear Johnny Depp,
No, no, no. Bad, actor! Bad, bad!
To quote you: "Why now? There's got to be money involved. Why now? He's been going there thirty years. He's not a predator. He's got a wife and kids. He's not out in the streets."
Why now? Off the top of my head I'd say it was because the man pled guilty to drugging and raping a thirteen year-old girl and then fled the country to live in his Swiss chalet while being free to make more films. Oh, right, boo-hoo he couldn't come to America and that's punishment enough.
Sexual predators do not wait in dark alleys for a victim to come along. Sexual predators can be anyone from any walk of life and they're able to get away with committing these crimes because people like you - the rich, (usually) male, and privileged - say things like "Oh, no, not him! He could never do something so horrible! He's not a predator!" And the predator doesn't even have to deny the allegations if they have enough money and/or talent. Just look at what Polanski himself said in a 1979 interview about his crime:
You see that, Mr. Depp? "Everyone wants to fuck young girls!" Do you not see how bold he is allowed to be, how he can fucking laugh about what he did? Do you see how non-chalant he is about it because, hey, everyone wants to bone little girls who can't so much as smoke a cigarette legally let alone consent to sex? Can you read those words - Polanski's own words - and say with a straight face this man is someone you'd allow around your own daughters? He can say these things and people like you and various other people with money and power say he's not a predator. For fuck's sake, man, if a confessed child rapist isn't a predator, then who the fuck is?
Roman Polanski drugged a thirteen year-old girl and then raped her orally, vaginally, and anally while ignoring her pleas of "No, stop!" He admitted to having done so in a court of law, and he was going to get what amounts to a slap on the wrist as punishment, and then he fled the country. I don't care if it was thirty years ago. If he were anyone else (without money and fame), no one would be raising such a fuss, but because he made a few films and was allowed to evade the law for three decades we should forgive his savagery? No, that's not how it works, nor is it how it should work.
Predators can come from anywhere precisely because we've made a society that writes off sexual violence as some sort of inconsequential crime. We permit them to thrive, and we'll even applaud them and support them through the most heinous of crimes. We'll deny to ourselves and to everyone that this man or that man could be a predator. We'll tell victims they're lying, or they asked for it. We'll even tell children as young as 12 years old that they didn't scream loud enough or fight off their attackers, and turn around and give our support to the predators.
According to the Rape Abuse & Incest National Network (RAINN), one out of every six American women has been the victim of an attempted or completed rape in her lifetime. One out of six. That's not a small number, Mr. Depp, and assault victims don't just drop from the sky. Their attackers have to come from somwhere, and most of them are repeat offenders. According to RAINN, only about 6% of rapists will ever spend a day in jail. Six lousy percent. That means Roman Polanski is but one drop of water in the sea of rape culture that you are helping to perpetuate by supporting him and others like him.
You, sir, are in my extremely humble opinion, a talented actor whose films I have enjoyed. However, being talented is no excuse not to educate yourself on the facts of the Polanski case, or of the much larger problem of rape and rape culture. Roman Polanski is a predator, and you are supporting him which means you are making it easier for predators - ones just like Polanski - to continue to have the ability to victimize children and women the world over. Your words carry weight, Mr. Depp, and as such you could have a powerful impact on many minds. Can you please make sure that impact is a postive one?
Signed,
A Former(?) Fan
Dear Johnny Depp,
No, no, no. Bad, actor! Bad, bad!
To quote you: "Why now? There's got to be money involved. Why now? He's been going there thirty years. He's not a predator. He's got a wife and kids. He's not out in the streets."
Why now? Off the top of my head I'd say it was because the man pled guilty to drugging and raping a thirteen year-old girl and then fled the country to live in his Swiss chalet while being free to make more films. Oh, right, boo-hoo he couldn't come to America and that's punishment enough.
Sexual predators do not wait in dark alleys for a victim to come along. Sexual predators can be anyone from any walk of life and they're able to get away with committing these crimes because people like you - the rich, (usually) male, and privileged - say things like "Oh, no, not him! He could never do something so horrible! He's not a predator!" And the predator doesn't even have to deny the allegations if they have enough money and/or talent. Just look at what Polanski himself said in a 1979 interview about his crime:
“If I had killed somebody, it wouldn’t have had so much appeal to the press, you see? But… f—ing, you see, and the young girls. Judges want to f— young girls. Juries want to f— young girls. Everyone wants to f— young girls!”
You see that, Mr. Depp? "Everyone wants to fuck young girls!" Do you not see how bold he is allowed to be, how he can fucking laugh about what he did? Do you see how non-chalant he is about it because, hey, everyone wants to bone little girls who can't so much as smoke a cigarette legally let alone consent to sex? Can you read those words - Polanski's own words - and say with a straight face this man is someone you'd allow around your own daughters? He can say these things and people like you and various other people with money and power say he's not a predator. For fuck's sake, man, if a confessed child rapist isn't a predator, then who the fuck is?
Roman Polanski drugged a thirteen year-old girl and then raped her orally, vaginally, and anally while ignoring her pleas of "No, stop!" He admitted to having done so in a court of law, and he was going to get what amounts to a slap on the wrist as punishment, and then he fled the country. I don't care if it was thirty years ago. If he were anyone else (without money and fame), no one would be raising such a fuss, but because he made a few films and was allowed to evade the law for three decades we should forgive his savagery? No, that's not how it works, nor is it how it should work.
Predators can come from anywhere precisely because we've made a society that writes off sexual violence as some sort of inconsequential crime. We permit them to thrive, and we'll even applaud them and support them through the most heinous of crimes. We'll deny to ourselves and to everyone that this man or that man could be a predator. We'll tell victims they're lying, or they asked for it. We'll even tell children as young as 12 years old that they didn't scream loud enough or fight off their attackers, and turn around and give our support to the predators.
According to the Rape Abuse & Incest National Network (RAINN), one out of every six American women has been the victim of an attempted or completed rape in her lifetime. One out of six. That's not a small number, Mr. Depp, and assault victims don't just drop from the sky. Their attackers have to come from somwhere, and most of them are repeat offenders. According to RAINN, only about 6% of rapists will ever spend a day in jail. Six lousy percent. That means Roman Polanski is but one drop of water in the sea of rape culture that you are helping to perpetuate by supporting him and others like him.
You, sir, are in my extremely humble opinion, a talented actor whose films I have enjoyed. However, being talented is no excuse not to educate yourself on the facts of the Polanski case, or of the much larger problem of rape and rape culture. Roman Polanski is a predator, and you are supporting him which means you are making it easier for predators - ones just like Polanski - to continue to have the ability to victimize children and women the world over. Your words carry weight, Mr. Depp, and as such you could have a powerful impact on many minds. Can you please make sure that impact is a postive one?
Signed,
A Former(?) Fan
An Open Letter to Johnny Depp
Jan. 17th, 2010 09:46 pm[Big fat trigger warning]
Dear Johnny Depp,
No, no, no. Bad, actor! Bad, bad!
To quote you: "Why now? There's got to be money involved. Why now? He's been going there thirty years. He's not a predator. He's got a wife and kids. He's not out in the streets."
Why now? Off the top of my head I'd say it was because the man pled guilty to drugging and raping a thirteen year-old girl and then fled the country to live in his Swiss chalet while being free to make more films. Oh, right, boo-hoo he couldn't come to America and that's punishment enough.
Sexual predators do not wait in dark alleys for a victim to come along. Sexual predators can be anyone from any walk of life and they're able to get away with committing these crimes because people like you - the rich, (usually) male, and privileged - say things like "Oh, no, not him! He could never do something so horrible! He's not a predator!" And the predator doesn't even have to deny the allegations if they have enough money and/or talent. Just look at what Polanski himself said in a 1979 interview about his crime:
You see that, Mr. Depp? "Everyone wants to fuck young girls!" Do you not see how bold he is allowed to be, how he can fucking laugh about what he did? Do you see how non-chalant he is about it because, hey, everyone wants to bone little girls who can't so much as smoke a cigarette legally let alone consent to sex? Can you read those words - Polanski's own words - and say with a straight face this man is someone you'd allow around your own daughters? He can say these things and people like you and various other people with money and power say he's not a predator. For fuck's sake, man, if a confessed child rapist isn't a predator, then who the fuck is?
Roman Polanski drugged a thirteen year-old girl and then raped her orally, vaginally, and anally while ignoring her pleas of "No, stop!" He admitted to having done so in a court of law, and he was going to get what amounts to a slap on the wrist as punishment, and then he fled the country. I don't care if it was thirty years ago. If he were anyone else (without money and fame), no one would be raising such a fuss, but because he made a few films and was allowed to evade the law for three decades we should forgive his savagery? No, that's not how it works, nor is it how it should work.
Predators can come from anywhere precisely because we've made a society that writes off sexual violence as some sort of inconsequential crime. We permit them to thrive, and we'll even applaud them and support them through the most heinous of crimes. We'll deny to ourselves and to everyone that this man or that man could be a predator. We'll tell victims they're lying, or they asked for it. We'll even tell children as young as 12 years old that they didn't scream loud enough or fight off their attackers, and turn around and give our support to the predators.
According to the Rape Abuse & Incest National Network (RAINN), one out of every six American women has been the victim of an attempted or completed rape in her lifetime. One out of six. That's not a small number, Mr. Depp, and assault victims don't just drop from the sky. Their attackers have to come from somwhere, and most of them are repeat offenders. According to RAINN, only about 6% of rapists will ever spend a day in jail. Six lousy percent. That means Roman Polanski is but one drop of water in the sea of rape culture that you are helping to perpetuate by supporting him and others like him.
You, sir, are in my extremely humble opinion, a talented actor whose films I have enjoyed. However, being talented is no excuse not to educate yourself on the facts of the Polanski case, or of the much larger problem of rape and rape culture. Roman Polanski is a predator, and you are supporting him which means you are making it easier for predators - ones just like Polanski - to continue to have the ability to victimize children and women the world over. Your words carry weight, Mr. Depp, and as such you could have a powerful impact on many minds. Can you please make sure that impact is a postive one?
Signed,
A Former(?) Fan
Dear Johnny Depp,
No, no, no. Bad, actor! Bad, bad!
To quote you: "Why now? There's got to be money involved. Why now? He's been going there thirty years. He's not a predator. He's got a wife and kids. He's not out in the streets."
Why now? Off the top of my head I'd say it was because the man pled guilty to drugging and raping a thirteen year-old girl and then fled the country to live in his Swiss chalet while being free to make more films. Oh, right, boo-hoo he couldn't come to America and that's punishment enough.
Sexual predators do not wait in dark alleys for a victim to come along. Sexual predators can be anyone from any walk of life and they're able to get away with committing these crimes because people like you - the rich, (usually) male, and privileged - say things like "Oh, no, not him! He could never do something so horrible! He's not a predator!" And the predator doesn't even have to deny the allegations if they have enough money and/or talent. Just look at what Polanski himself said in a 1979 interview about his crime:
“If I had killed somebody, it wouldn’t have had so much appeal to the press, you see? But… f—ing, you see, and the young girls. Judges want to f— young girls. Juries want to f— young girls. Everyone wants to f— young girls!”
You see that, Mr. Depp? "Everyone wants to fuck young girls!" Do you not see how bold he is allowed to be, how he can fucking laugh about what he did? Do you see how non-chalant he is about it because, hey, everyone wants to bone little girls who can't so much as smoke a cigarette legally let alone consent to sex? Can you read those words - Polanski's own words - and say with a straight face this man is someone you'd allow around your own daughters? He can say these things and people like you and various other people with money and power say he's not a predator. For fuck's sake, man, if a confessed child rapist isn't a predator, then who the fuck is?
Roman Polanski drugged a thirteen year-old girl and then raped her orally, vaginally, and anally while ignoring her pleas of "No, stop!" He admitted to having done so in a court of law, and he was going to get what amounts to a slap on the wrist as punishment, and then he fled the country. I don't care if it was thirty years ago. If he were anyone else (without money and fame), no one would be raising such a fuss, but because he made a few films and was allowed to evade the law for three decades we should forgive his savagery? No, that's not how it works, nor is it how it should work.
Predators can come from anywhere precisely because we've made a society that writes off sexual violence as some sort of inconsequential crime. We permit them to thrive, and we'll even applaud them and support them through the most heinous of crimes. We'll deny to ourselves and to everyone that this man or that man could be a predator. We'll tell victims they're lying, or they asked for it. We'll even tell children as young as 12 years old that they didn't scream loud enough or fight off their attackers, and turn around and give our support to the predators.
According to the Rape Abuse & Incest National Network (RAINN), one out of every six American women has been the victim of an attempted or completed rape in her lifetime. One out of six. That's not a small number, Mr. Depp, and assault victims don't just drop from the sky. Their attackers have to come from somwhere, and most of them are repeat offenders. According to RAINN, only about 6% of rapists will ever spend a day in jail. Six lousy percent. That means Roman Polanski is but one drop of water in the sea of rape culture that you are helping to perpetuate by supporting him and others like him.
You, sir, are in my extremely humble opinion, a talented actor whose films I have enjoyed. However, being talented is no excuse not to educate yourself on the facts of the Polanski case, or of the much larger problem of rape and rape culture. Roman Polanski is a predator, and you are supporting him which means you are making it easier for predators - ones just like Polanski - to continue to have the ability to victimize children and women the world over. Your words carry weight, Mr. Depp, and as such you could have a powerful impact on many minds. Can you please make sure that impact is a postive one?
Signed,
A Former(?) Fan