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Treat Me Like a Human Being
May. 13th, 2010 09:14 pmIf you read more than a few entries in this LiveJournal there is one thing that should be abundantly clear: I hate gender roles. I especially despise conversations, articles, movies, or books that center around solving the big mysteries that are apparently the differences between men and woman. (Let's not even get into the fact that every single one of them totally ignore the possibility of there being a third gender or any amount of gender fluidity or this entry will never end.) They all say the same thing: Women cry, men hit; women are neat, men are slobs; women hate sports, men hate romance; women give sex to get love, men give love to get sex; etc. No matter which gender is discussed, the "rules" about them make it seem like they should apply to all women or men, and while most of the time it's intended to be all in good fun, they're often chock-full of sexism, misogyny, and blatant lies. It's especially frustrating when these "rules" or "facts" are presented as advice to the opposite sex (because we don't want to break out of our heteronormative bubbles either) and sometimes -- sometimes -- it can perpetuate harmful myths, which is exactly what is illustrated in the MSN article "53 Secrets Girls Don't Want Guys to Know."
1. When we get whistled at in the street, we feel uncomfortable and we’ll always tut and roll our eyes. But we’re awesomely flattered and we’d be gutted if it stopped.
And right out of the starting gate we hit on the old "assault/rape is a compliment" meme. You know what I think anytime a man whistles at me, makes some sort of sex-related remark, or approaches me in public? "What are my exit points?/How fast can I get away?" You want to know why that is? Because I have been intimidated before by men who think it's funny and/or sexy when I'm frightened. It's all about them getting a kick out of my reaction and not about how I, as a fellow human being, feel out in public. That I have a boyfriend, or that I'm really just there to buy a new book or go about my daily life apparently doesn't matter. The author even says "we feel uncomfortable," but because someone is apparently deeming us as attractive it's supposed to negate the fact that those men have just completely destroyed our sense of safety and made us feel insecure.
Also, when it comes to approaching women in public, please read the awesome article "Schrödinger’s Rapist: or a guy’s guide to approaching strange women without being maced."
( I didn't do all 53, but I did touch on most of them. Some sex talk underneath. )
1. When we get whistled at in the street, we feel uncomfortable and we’ll always tut and roll our eyes. But we’re awesomely flattered and we’d be gutted if it stopped.
And right out of the starting gate we hit on the old "assault/rape is a compliment" meme. You know what I think anytime a man whistles at me, makes some sort of sex-related remark, or approaches me in public? "What are my exit points?/How fast can I get away?" You want to know why that is? Because I have been intimidated before by men who think it's funny and/or sexy when I'm frightened. It's all about them getting a kick out of my reaction and not about how I, as a fellow human being, feel out in public. That I have a boyfriend, or that I'm really just there to buy a new book or go about my daily life apparently doesn't matter. The author even says "we feel uncomfortable," but because someone is apparently deeming us as attractive it's supposed to negate the fact that those men have just completely destroyed our sense of safety and made us feel insecure.
Also, when it comes to approaching women in public, please read the awesome article "Schrödinger’s Rapist: or a guy’s guide to approaching strange women without being maced."
( I didn't do all 53, but I did touch on most of them. Some sex talk underneath. )
