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Dear Hollywood: Knock it off!
Jun. 19th, 2010 01:53 pmDear Hollywood,
What the fuck is wrong with you?
You're remaking awesome movies from the 80s and early 90s, and not only that, you're turning Adventures in Babysitting into a miniature dudebro movie? Seriously? Was there a sudden shortage of bumbling male comedic roles I was unaware of? Was Nicolas Cage being cast in Mickey Mouse's role for The Sorcerer's Apprentice not enough of a clue that it's time to stop sniffing the glue? Sure, Nicolas has become a bit... eccentric in recent years, but you're turning perhaps the most famous short from Fantasia into a live-action feature-length film. Something here doesn't seem like it's going to work as intended.
Of course, this isn't enough. No, now the writer/director for the new Fraggle Rock movie is reporting that the first draft of his script wasn't "edgy" enough for you.
The Fraggles. Not edgy enough. Jim Henson Muppets. Edgy.
Need I remind you that Fraggle Rock was a children's show full of dancing, singing, and comedy? Apparently, I do, and you completely ignore that there were some "dark" moments in the series itself (come on, there were creatures who wanted to eat the fraggles). What do you need to alter or improve upon there?
Oh, but I'm not done. I can't let this go without mentioning the new Smurfs movie. The premise is that the smurfs come into the real/our world. I hope I'm wrong about that because one of the things that made the Smurfs so great was that it was a medieval-style fantasy world full of magic and bald villains who wanted to turn smurfs into gold...or eat them, I can never remember.
I swear I've been watching this slow-motion train wreck for the past few years and each new movie is a car adding to the pile. Being green doesn't mean recycling twenty-plus-year-old scripts.
Please, just stop already.
No love,
Jade
What the fuck is wrong with you?
You're remaking awesome movies from the 80s and early 90s, and not only that, you're turning Adventures in Babysitting into a miniature dudebro movie? Seriously? Was there a sudden shortage of bumbling male comedic roles I was unaware of? Was Nicolas Cage being cast in Mickey Mouse's role for The Sorcerer's Apprentice not enough of a clue that it's time to stop sniffing the glue? Sure, Nicolas has become a bit... eccentric in recent years, but you're turning perhaps the most famous short from Fantasia into a live-action feature-length film. Something here doesn't seem like it's going to work as intended.
Of course, this isn't enough. No, now the writer/director for the new Fraggle Rock movie is reporting that the first draft of his script wasn't "edgy" enough for you.
The Fraggles. Not edgy enough. Jim Henson Muppets. Edgy.
Need I remind you that Fraggle Rock was a children's show full of dancing, singing, and comedy? Apparently, I do, and you completely ignore that there were some "dark" moments in the series itself (come on, there were creatures who wanted to eat the fraggles). What do you need to alter or improve upon there?
Oh, but I'm not done. I can't let this go without mentioning the new Smurfs movie. The premise is that the smurfs come into the real/our world. I hope I'm wrong about that because one of the things that made the Smurfs so great was that it was a medieval-style fantasy world full of magic and bald villains who wanted to turn smurfs into gold...or eat them, I can never remember.
I swear I've been watching this slow-motion train wreck for the past few years and each new movie is a car adding to the pile. Being green doesn't mean recycling twenty-plus-year-old scripts.
Please, just stop already.
No love,
Jade
