![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Another Punch an' Pie Post
Aug. 22nd, 2012 11:23 amAnnnnnd more about Punch an' Pie because I got this response:
Lucy was being a narcissistic emotional abuser.
Sigh. I never saw emotional abuse from Lucy. She's a jerk, yes. She's a liar and a cheat, yes. Heather, however, is standing up for herself, hasn't been fretting about how Lucy will react when she does things. She doesn't live in fear of Lucy's emotional response to her actions. In fact, the argument started because Heather woke up and realized, "Hey, she's kind of mooching off me." And then Lucy dropped the, "Oh, by the way I'm poly and going to have a threesome" bomb. Before then, Heather had been pretty happy and reveling in the lust Lucy inspired (and let's be honest, it was always more about the sex than a deep emotional connection).
Horrible person =/= Emotional abuser.
Saying that Heather's physical response (slapping Lucy) was wrong does not suddenly negate Lucy's bad behavior. Lucy is still very much in the wrong and is still a shitty person who needs to learn how to be an adult in my book. However, Heather's actions are still inexcusable and reprehensible. Believe it or not, they can both be wrong here.
People make mistakes, yes, but it's still important to point out and say, "Hey, you did something pretty fucking awful." I think less of Heather and I think it will be a mistake to try to paint this as an applaud-worthy moment. It's not. I was applauding her for calling Lucy's shit out on the carpet. I won't applaud her for assaulting her (now-ex) girlfriend.
P.S.: To the person saying, "I'm not being an apologist for Heather's behavior, but..." AFTER THAT "BUT" YOU ARE DOING THE OPPOSITE OF WHAT YOU CLAIM. By going on to explain how Heather's been under stress from work and life and her relationship, you can see why she might slap her, you've just excused her behavior and engaged in some "awesome" apologism.
Lucy was being a narcissistic emotional abuser.
Sigh. I never saw emotional abuse from Lucy. She's a jerk, yes. She's a liar and a cheat, yes. Heather, however, is standing up for herself, hasn't been fretting about how Lucy will react when she does things. She doesn't live in fear of Lucy's emotional response to her actions. In fact, the argument started because Heather woke up and realized, "Hey, she's kind of mooching off me." And then Lucy dropped the, "Oh, by the way I'm poly and going to have a threesome" bomb. Before then, Heather had been pretty happy and reveling in the lust Lucy inspired (and let's be honest, it was always more about the sex than a deep emotional connection).
Horrible person =/= Emotional abuser.
Saying that Heather's physical response (slapping Lucy) was wrong does not suddenly negate Lucy's bad behavior. Lucy is still very much in the wrong and is still a shitty person who needs to learn how to be an adult in my book. However, Heather's actions are still inexcusable and reprehensible. Believe it or not, they can both be wrong here.
People make mistakes, yes, but it's still important to point out and say, "Hey, you did something pretty fucking awful." I think less of Heather and I think it will be a mistake to try to paint this as an applaud-worthy moment. It's not. I was applauding her for calling Lucy's shit out on the carpet. I won't applaud her for assaulting her (now-ex) girlfriend.
P.S.: To the person saying, "I'm not being an apologist for Heather's behavior, but..." AFTER THAT "BUT" YOU ARE DOING THE OPPOSITE OF WHAT YOU CLAIM. By going on to explain how Heather's been under stress from work and life and her relationship, you can see why she might slap her, you've just excused her behavior and engaged in some "awesome" apologism.
