Writer's Block: Kids or child-free?
Mar. 10th, 2010 01:52 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
jadedmusings[Error: unknown template qotd]
I never really decided to have children. I was waffling on the issue a bit when I discovered I was pregnant, and after weighing my options, I decided I really wanted a child. At first, because my pregnancy was relatively easy (after the first trimester), and because I actually enjoyed being pregnant, I thought I'd have two or three children. However, since the kiddo was about three months old, I've said I will never have another child and I still feel this is the best decision for me.
Post-partum for me was difficult, and not only due to factors in my relationship with the kiddo's father. I don't know that now I really could handle the hormonal and chemical upheaval that happens after birth, nor do I think I could deal with all the bodily changes. Then there's this selfish part of me that wants to simply enjoy having the kiddo and watching him grow up. Not to mention that he has a few challenges that require extra attention that I don't think I could so easily provide if he had a younger sibling. (Not saying that other parents with multiple children fail to meet the needs of all their offspring, just saying that I feel better keeping it at one for my own sake.)
Despite several people (sometimes complete strangers) dropping hints that I should think about having another child, or outright saying it's cruel to make someone an only child (before learning that I myself am an only child, of course), my resolve on this has never wavered. Sure, I might walk by a baby department and see the cute little outfits, or spot a newborn out in public and I feel a bit nostalgic for the old days when my son was an infant, but the moment there's spit-up, a dirty diaper, or screaming, I'm cured of any desire to relive those days with a new baby.
I don't know that Sam and I ever really talked about this in detail. I mean, I know I have told him that I don't want more children, and I've made it clear that if I can get a tubal ligation or other form of sterilization, I'll take it at this point. He's known since we were just friends that I never planned on another child, and he seems pretty content at being childless himself. He and the kiddo get along pretty well and are getting to know each other more and more. If he has a sudden desire for children, then I fear he'll have to look elsewhere for a mother, but at this point in our relationship I don't think that's the case.
I never really decided to have children. I was waffling on the issue a bit when I discovered I was pregnant, and after weighing my options, I decided I really wanted a child. At first, because my pregnancy was relatively easy (after the first trimester), and because I actually enjoyed being pregnant, I thought I'd have two or three children. However, since the kiddo was about three months old, I've said I will never have another child and I still feel this is the best decision for me.
Post-partum for me was difficult, and not only due to factors in my relationship with the kiddo's father. I don't know that now I really could handle the hormonal and chemical upheaval that happens after birth, nor do I think I could deal with all the bodily changes. Then there's this selfish part of me that wants to simply enjoy having the kiddo and watching him grow up. Not to mention that he has a few challenges that require extra attention that I don't think I could so easily provide if he had a younger sibling. (Not saying that other parents with multiple children fail to meet the needs of all their offspring, just saying that I feel better keeping it at one for my own sake.)
Despite several people (sometimes complete strangers) dropping hints that I should think about having another child, or outright saying it's cruel to make someone an only child (before learning that I myself am an only child, of course), my resolve on this has never wavered. Sure, I might walk by a baby department and see the cute little outfits, or spot a newborn out in public and I feel a bit nostalgic for the old days when my son was an infant, but the moment there's spit-up, a dirty diaper, or screaming, I'm cured of any desire to relive those days with a new baby.
I don't know that Sam and I ever really talked about this in detail. I mean, I know I have told him that I don't want more children, and I've made it clear that if I can get a tubal ligation or other form of sterilization, I'll take it at this point. He's known since we were just friends that I never planned on another child, and he seems pretty content at being childless himself. He and the kiddo get along pretty well and are getting to know each other more and more. If he has a sudden desire for children, then I fear he'll have to look elsewhere for a mother, but at this point in our relationship I don't think that's the case.
