Lyrics. I post them too much.
Feb. 3rd, 2009 02:19 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
jadedmusingsMy journal, my rules.
For someone who loves to express herself with words here on LJ and maybe even through my lame attempts at writing, I get tongue-tied when it comes to talking about how I feel regarding a specific person. I become easily embarrassed and try to avoid the "mushy stuff." I know some of it is that I've been told to shut up before, that I come across too strongly, or even that I wasn't wanted and should go away. Me being, well, me went to the other extreme and now only give as much as I think I'm getting in order to avoid the pain of rejection. The problem with that is that I haven't quite perfected that whole telepathy thing, and I constantly doubt myself and my instincts. This can lead to confusion, and more than once I've had people shocked to learn that I felt this way or that. I hate that.
I'm working on it, but it's taking a lot of practice and until I get better at it, I find it easy to use another's words. I don't necessarily like doing this, and I do feel slightly embarrassed (OK, very embarrassed), but this is something I truly feel I need to do. Truth is, I never really told Dad how I felt before he died, nor did I ever tell my grandmother. Yes, I think they knew I loved them, but sometimes I wish I could have said the words too. One of the many things last year taught me was to acknowledge the people in my life and what they mean to me while they're still physically here.
So, there you have it. That's why I'm posting lyrics again. Yes, I'm being lovey-dovey, but I don't care because as much as I know better than to get carried away, I do think I can be a little silly and happy about what I do have.
For someone who loves to express herself with words here on LJ and maybe even through my lame attempts at writing, I get tongue-tied when it comes to talking about how I feel regarding a specific person. I become easily embarrassed and try to avoid the "mushy stuff." I know some of it is that I've been told to shut up before, that I come across too strongly, or even that I wasn't wanted and should go away. Me being, well, me went to the other extreme and now only give as much as I think I'm getting in order to avoid the pain of rejection. The problem with that is that I haven't quite perfected that whole telepathy thing, and I constantly doubt myself and my instincts. This can lead to confusion, and more than once I've had people shocked to learn that I felt this way or that. I hate that.
I'm working on it, but it's taking a lot of practice and until I get better at it, I find it easy to use another's words. I don't necessarily like doing this, and I do feel slightly embarrassed (OK, very embarrassed), but this is something I truly feel I need to do. Truth is, I never really told Dad how I felt before he died, nor did I ever tell my grandmother. Yes, I think they knew I loved them, but sometimes I wish I could have said the words too. One of the many things last year taught me was to acknowledge the people in my life and what they mean to me while they're still physically here.
So, there you have it. That's why I'm posting lyrics again. Yes, I'm being lovey-dovey, but I don't care because as much as I know better than to get carried away, I do think I can be a little silly and happy about what I do have.
"I Miss You"
Incubus
To see you when I wake up
Is a gift I didn't think could be real.
To know that you feel the same as I do
Is a three-fold, Utopian dream.
You do something to me that I can't explain.
So would I be out of line if I said "I miss you"?
I see your picture.
I smell your skin on
The empty pillow next to mine.
You have only been gone ten days,
But already I'm wasting away.
I know I'll see you again
Whether far or soon.
But I need you to know that I care,
And I miss you.
