So Close to Earning a Darwin Award

Woman Injured In Sex Toy Mishap

LEXINGTON PARK, Md. (WUSA) - A Southern Maryland woman was seriously injured in a mishap involving a sex toy over the weekend. The case was first reported on BayNet.com, and Saint Mary's county public safety sources confirm the information to 9NEWS NOW.

The accident was reported to local fire and rescue personnel about 1:30 a.m. on March 7, from an address on Rogers Drive. The man who made the 911 call said he had placed a sex toy over a saber saw blade, and then used the power tool on his partner, but the blade cut through the plastic and injured the woman.

The victim, a 27-year-old woman, was reportedly injured and bleeding. She was flown to Prince George's hospital center by Maryland State Police.

County law enforcement officials who were familiar with the media report about this case said although they were not initially called to investigate the incident, they would likely follow up to determine it was just an accident and involved consentual behavior.
Written by Bill Starks
9NEWS NOW & wusa9.com


OK, seriously, I know there's a website called fuckmachines.com (NSFW, duh!), but do people not realize that those machines are altered specifically for sexual purposes? At the very least, did it not occur to them that a saw, well, saws through materials and that a (presumably) silicone dildo isn't exactly going to resist a saw blade?

If you need me, I'll be over here crossing my legs and making the D: face.

To the writers on my f-list...

When you start to doubt your ability to write well, I want you to remember this review. I've sampled most of your writing, and I can say in all honesty none of you write quite like this. (Seriously, the sex scenes were bad enough, but a "Yo' Momma" contest? Really?)

Some Images From My Life Today

The kiddo and I played outside for a few minutes today, but the humidity proved to be a bit much for both of us and the dogs. (It's only in the 80s and by all accounts a beautiful day, but the humidity in South Carolina hits like a brick wall, even this early in the not-quite-Spring season.) We're going to go back outside in about an hour (around six o'clock) as it'll have cooled off a little. He's eager to practice more with the t-ball stuff. In the meantime, here are a couple of pictures I managed to snag while taking photos of the house.

Gwen joined us outdoors (she's used to being an indoor/outdoor cat though she spends about 95% of her time indoors and only really gets out those times when she's too quick for me to catch, like today). I really love the way this picture came out and I may take the original to be printed up at a photo store so I can frame it and put it on display.



This was taken by my front door, and that porch desperately needs to be replaced. (You can't see it here, but I've got the stairs blocked off so that no one tries to climb them and risks falling through rotted wood.) It's one of many house improvement projects I'm going to be getting to this Spring and Summer. First though, I have some work to do indoors, and we've used the side door since before Dad was even sick anyway, so it's not a big hassle.

Sasha chased the kiddo around the backyard (a great way to tire a hyper puppy and active five year-old boy, by the way). The kiddo spotted the camera and stopped long enough for me to take a couple of shots, but this is the only one I managed to get with Sasha sitting (mostly) still.



Another shot I'm really pleased with and may eventually frame (after doing some more work on it in Photoshop as all I did was crop and re-size today). I tried to get some shots of Penny, but she was too busy lounging under the truck for some shade and hiding from the camera.

So, after that fun bit of time outdoors I tried to write today, but it became impossible. Why? Well, here's what I see when I look down at my feet:


"I can has play tiem nao?"

I dare you to find me the person that can look down, see that, and not spend five minutes petting and playing with the little ball of fluff.

There's a lurker who might find this funny.