In which I write silly things.

Today's daily prompt for all_unwritten was "The right to bear arms." I immediately thought of that old, old image of a man with bear arms. Here's what I ended up posting in response.

*****

"This isn't what I had in mind," he said.

The genie stared back at the man, the expression on his face one of mild annoyance. "It is what you said."

"Yes, but--"

"Then what is the issue?"

"I think the issue is homonyms."

"Homonyms?"

"You see, what I asked for--"

"Wished."

"Yes, wished for, uh, everyone to have the right to bear arms."

"And this is what you have."

"Right, well, didn't you think it was a little silly?"

The genie shrugged. "I have been around for several millenia. I have learned not to question the wishes humans make. Once, there was a queen who was quite fond of her horse, and she asked me--"

"I don't think I want to know." The man tried to scratch his chin, narrowly avoiding slicing his his skin open on his new claws. He gestured up at the genie with his new fur-covered arms. "See? This is what I mean."

"What? I see bear arms as you stated you wanted in your wish."

"But it's not what I wished for! I wanted my friends and I to have the right to carry guns without government interference."

"Then why did you ask for bear arms?"

"I didn't!"

"Did you or did you not go over the contract with my secretary before you made your wish?"

"I did."

"And did she or did she not tell you to be as specific as possible with your wish?"

"She did, but she didn't say you'd take me literally."

The genie spread his hands and shook his head. "Then I am afraid there is nothing more to discuss."

"But..."

"But you have the bear arms as you requested, and I am a busy man with many other wish contracts to fill. If there is nothing else to discuss, then I think you should be going now."

"So, what am I supposed to do? My wife is allergic to bear fur, and I can't even fire a gun, much less shoot one. I don't even have opposable thumbs anymore!"

The genie smiled. "Have you thought about fishing for salmon?"

"...you think this is funny, don't you?"

"Yes."

"You'll be hearing from my lawyer!"

"Good luck with that, sir. You would not be the first to try to sue me. My secretary will be more than happy to give you the contact information for our legal department, and if you don't mind, tell her I'll have my lunch after my appointment with the twelve-inch pianist."

Lachesis Syntyche: Too Hot for Praetoria (and Your Computer)!

So, I decided to make City of Heroes versions of the Syntyche sisters. I only ever really role-played Clotho, but all three sisters (named after the Fates of Greek mythology) were very well developed in my head. First, I made Clotho a hero, and she came out looking pretty nice. Next, I made Atropos a villain, and she too came out looking pretty awesome (the eyepatch for her really made the whole costume, I think). Yesterday, I made Lachesis a Praetorian, and, um, well, apparently I decided to throw all caution into the wind and made a pretty skimpy costume for her. The results have been pretty lulzy.

Case in point (log modified from CoH chat log):

<Elisha> I have come to stare at ass
<Elisha> >.>
<Jade> lol
<Elisha> <.<
<Jade> I'm on a mission if you wanna join. :p
<Jade> Okay, mission over. lol
<Elisha> Holy crap your ass blew my graphics card up and made me have to hard reboot and I didn't even see it o_o
<Jade> rofl I'm telling you, she's too hot for CoH!
<Elisha> I definately need to see it now, just so I can be blinded
<Jade> What's really funny is that last night, on our fisrt mission together with Lachesis, Sam's display drivers crashed. >.>
<Elisha> >.> I'm going to Nova Praetoria to gawk >.> Don't go anywhere :p
<Jade> lol OKay. By the way, I'm so posting this to LJ.
<Elisha> ...Yeah that red makes those buns hawt >.>
<Elisha> How is that even street legal? <.<
<Jade> I know, right?

Lachesis has caused two graphics-related crashes in two separate computers now. NCsoft might have to come out with a special edition of City of Heroes: Going Rogue called Too Hot for Praetoria!

( Pictures under the cut. )