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jadedmusings(I'm in full-on rant mode, so this is a rambly and kind of meandering post. I'm too pissed to be coherent, and I'm tired to boot. Tomorrow I have to be up early to cook dinner for Mom, kiddo, and me. Bah, humbug. Also, this is f-locked for now, but I'll probably make it public later.)
Some of you may already know this (if you're in the Returners community that is), but I wanted to make it official here. I quit Triumph as a GM last night. I'd already "retired" my character a couple of weeks ago. I could tell you that my offline life is about to get a bit busier, and while that is partially true, it's not the reason I quit. Quite frankly, I got tired of the bullshit.
What I am about to say is nothing that anyone on the GM team has not already heard. This should not come to a surprise to NinjaWeazel especially because I've been saying it for months now, and yet nothing has changed.
There's now been a few posts on the board of finger wagging from GMs who are also devs of FFRPG. They are complaining that the GMs are not running near enough sessions (true), there's been a huge breakdown of plot (also true), and there's not any communication happening among the GMs (not entirely true - I'll get to that). The fact that these people are complaining is not really the problem. The problem is that they're pointing the fingers at the GMs who have been trying to do the work and expecting us to suddenly give more than we already have been, all the while ignoring the fact that they've done virtually nothing in the last few months and even disappear for weeks at a time only to come back and complain that X, Y, or Z isn't happening.
What really gets to me is that suddenly everyone (that is, GMs who happen to have a developer title as well) are all fired up to fix everything. When I pointed out the hypocrisy of them voicing complaints on the board and acting like they're in charge, I get told by the Arbitrator (NinjaWeazel) that "Well, they have valid points too." Oh, I won't argue with that, but I will point out that those of us who have run a session in the last three months have been making all those points over and over again, and nothing was done. Suddenly when the devs come back after being away so long, it's time to fix it, and the Arbitrator steps up and says something, but that couldn't have happened months ago when the ones of us with less power said something.
Justin, Gull, Julian, and I have repeatedly said that there haven't been enough sessions, and we're the ones who actually try to do something about it. Doman has been in the thick of it too on occasion, and all these discussions have been had in a room where the Arbitrator is, and where he can read backscroll even if he's away. But again, nothing was done. Not even one single remark to the others who were not pulling any weight.
When Carl had to leave us for very valid personal reasons, he sort of left us in the lurch. We had notes, but since he had really been the one with the road map, we were left to flounder. No one wanted to take over the job of Head GM, and no one forced a vote. We didn't really have any direction, and even I spoke up then and said that it would not work this way, that there would either be too many hands at the helm pulling us in different direction, or (as it turned out to be) people would dally around waiting for Carl to come back/other people to advance the plot. I wasn't the only one who felt this way, but it was brushed off yet again, and there was brainstorming and then...nothing.
I threw myself into the zombie plot. I pushed for things to happen, and I tried my best to plan it so as to give us plenty of ways to advance the plot and end Chapter 2. I did a surprise session, and then I paused the timeline for seven days to give players the chance to get a slice of the action, and to give the GMs seven whole days to run one. I made a post about this on the forum several days before Z-Day so that everyone on the GM team had a heads up. During the pause, the two devs who are now complaining the loudest did not run a single session, or even really say one thing or another apart from a "I like this plan" post to the boards and a couple of comments on IRC. I spent some time on IRC repeatedly saying that if we didn't take this opportunity to light a fire under our collective asses, all our plans would be for nothing. As it happened, it's falling apart again and hardly any sessions are being run.
Now, I'm forced to read the boards as two GMs who did nothing for the zombie plot start wagging their fingers and trying to act like they're in charge, one of whom disappears for weeks at a time and only shows up to complain that there's nothing on the boards. Well, there's nothing on the boards because the most active among us do our brainstorming and plotting in the IRC room, which is what it's there for. We don't post it to the board, true, but that's because we have talked about it, and again, we don't hear from the others except every few days or weeks, so we hardly even know if they're participating until they show up and actually do something.
Oh, but when they say something - even if it's the same thing some of us have been saying for months, and saying it to the Arbitrator no less - suddenly it's time for action. Suddenly everyone wants to fix things, and they want me to Do Something about it. Suddenly the Arbitrator makes a post, and now there's punitive action being planned, but not too harsh because, hey, this guy made some valid points despite his hyprocrisy. Oh yeah, we know you made those same points, but now it's important. (That's not what is being said, of course, but that's what it looks and feels like.)
I thought my experience meant something. I have GMed in a guild-game setting previously, and I have GMed my own campaign, as well as participated in various others that failed for one reason or another. I know a good many names in the community, and I know who to push and who needs to be reined in. I watched others on the GM team express concern and outright say that this was a sinking ship, and I said it with them. And I watched as nothing was done. But now that things are happening and suddenly there's boots appearing in people's asses, I see that what I offered didn't really matter.
That's why I resigned.
(Of course now I get the added joy of dealing with friction in my relationship too because the Arbitrator is my boyfriend. So that's another reason I finally called it quits. It's just not worth it.)
Some of you may already know this (if you're in the Returners community that is), but I wanted to make it official here. I quit Triumph as a GM last night. I'd already "retired" my character a couple of weeks ago. I could tell you that my offline life is about to get a bit busier, and while that is partially true, it's not the reason I quit. Quite frankly, I got tired of the bullshit.
What I am about to say is nothing that anyone on the GM team has not already heard. This should not come to a surprise to NinjaWeazel especially because I've been saying it for months now, and yet nothing has changed.
There's now been a few posts on the board of finger wagging from GMs who are also devs of FFRPG. They are complaining that the GMs are not running near enough sessions (true), there's been a huge breakdown of plot (also true), and there's not any communication happening among the GMs (not entirely true - I'll get to that). The fact that these people are complaining is not really the problem. The problem is that they're pointing the fingers at the GMs who have been trying to do the work and expecting us to suddenly give more than we already have been, all the while ignoring the fact that they've done virtually nothing in the last few months and even disappear for weeks at a time only to come back and complain that X, Y, or Z isn't happening.
What really gets to me is that suddenly everyone (that is, GMs who happen to have a developer title as well) are all fired up to fix everything. When I pointed out the hypocrisy of them voicing complaints on the board and acting like they're in charge, I get told by the Arbitrator (NinjaWeazel) that "Well, they have valid points too." Oh, I won't argue with that, but I will point out that those of us who have run a session in the last three months have been making all those points over and over again, and nothing was done. Suddenly when the devs come back after being away so long, it's time to fix it, and the Arbitrator steps up and says something, but that couldn't have happened months ago when the ones of us with less power said something.
Justin, Gull, Julian, and I have repeatedly said that there haven't been enough sessions, and we're the ones who actually try to do something about it. Doman has been in the thick of it too on occasion, and all these discussions have been had in a room where the Arbitrator is, and where he can read backscroll even if he's away. But again, nothing was done. Not even one single remark to the others who were not pulling any weight.
When Carl had to leave us for very valid personal reasons, he sort of left us in the lurch. We had notes, but since he had really been the one with the road map, we were left to flounder. No one wanted to take over the job of Head GM, and no one forced a vote. We didn't really have any direction, and even I spoke up then and said that it would not work this way, that there would either be too many hands at the helm pulling us in different direction, or (as it turned out to be) people would dally around waiting for Carl to come back/other people to advance the plot. I wasn't the only one who felt this way, but it was brushed off yet again, and there was brainstorming and then...nothing.
I threw myself into the zombie plot. I pushed for things to happen, and I tried my best to plan it so as to give us plenty of ways to advance the plot and end Chapter 2. I did a surprise session, and then I paused the timeline for seven days to give players the chance to get a slice of the action, and to give the GMs seven whole days to run one. I made a post about this on the forum several days before Z-Day so that everyone on the GM team had a heads up. During the pause, the two devs who are now complaining the loudest did not run a single session, or even really say one thing or another apart from a "I like this plan" post to the boards and a couple of comments on IRC. I spent some time on IRC repeatedly saying that if we didn't take this opportunity to light a fire under our collective asses, all our plans would be for nothing. As it happened, it's falling apart again and hardly any sessions are being run.
Now, I'm forced to read the boards as two GMs who did nothing for the zombie plot start wagging their fingers and trying to act like they're in charge, one of whom disappears for weeks at a time and only shows up to complain that there's nothing on the boards. Well, there's nothing on the boards because the most active among us do our brainstorming and plotting in the IRC room, which is what it's there for. We don't post it to the board, true, but that's because we have talked about it, and again, we don't hear from the others except every few days or weeks, so we hardly even know if they're participating until they show up and actually do something.
Oh, but when they say something - even if it's the same thing some of us have been saying for months, and saying it to the Arbitrator no less - suddenly it's time for action. Suddenly everyone wants to fix things, and they want me to Do Something about it. Suddenly the Arbitrator makes a post, and now there's punitive action being planned, but not too harsh because, hey, this guy made some valid points despite his hyprocrisy. Oh yeah, we know you made those same points, but now it's important. (That's not what is being said, of course, but that's what it looks and feels like.)
I thought my experience meant something. I have GMed in a guild-game setting previously, and I have GMed my own campaign, as well as participated in various others that failed for one reason or another. I know a good many names in the community, and I know who to push and who needs to be reined in. I watched others on the GM team express concern and outright say that this was a sinking ship, and I said it with them. And I watched as nothing was done. But now that things are happening and suddenly there's boots appearing in people's asses, I see that what I offered didn't really matter.
That's why I resigned.
(Of course now I get the added joy of dealing with friction in my relationship too because the Arbitrator is my boyfriend. So that's another reason I finally called it quits. It's just not worth it.)
