jadedmusings | Things I Never Want To Dream About Again...

...Bill O'Reilly's ass.

Yes. I dreamed about Bill O'Reilly's ass. In an abortion clinic. That he was running. Though he only allowed the "right" kind of abortions to happen. Oh, and he hit on some of the women coming in for testing.

Look, all I know is that in the dream, I was having some problems and I needed another pregnancy test to see whether or not I was pregnant (and no, there is no way I could be pregnant in real life, this was just a dream). Bill, who had published another great best-selling novel full of spelling and grammatical errors, decided to give up his job at Faux News and run an abortion clinic. It would seem I had no other choice but to go to this particular clinic. In order to make us ~~sluts~~ women feel more comfortable, Bill would talk to the womene one-on-one and "counsel" them. Anyway, he wanted me to feel so comfortable that he put on a robe that stopped just below his waist and had me follow him to an exam room. He turned around and I saw his ass.

I'm not sure you guys can totally appreciate the horror and revulsion I felt. It only got better when he sat down and put a hand over his junk for decency's sake. I'm amazed I did not wake up vomitting. And no, he did not offer me a falafel, which is probably why I remembered this dream while I was in the bath.

I am never eating pizza before bed again. Never.

I swear I'm not on drugs, y'all.