A List of Things I've Learned as a Woman
Apr. 20th, 2011 10:06 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
jadedmusingsMy entire gender is used as an insult. ("Don't be such a girl!" "When did you grow a vagina?")
My biology is used to invalidate and ignore my justifiable anger. ("You must be on the rag!" "Look who's PMSing!" "Stop being so hormonal!")
I am told my gender makes me incapable of making rational decisions. To have an emotional response to an event makes me weak. ("Women are too emotional to hold a position of power.")
I am not supposed to enjoy activities or professions that are male-dominated. ("You might get hurt, little girl." "Why would you want to do that? You'll get dirty.")
I am told my gender makes me incapable of performing certain tasks. ("Girls are bad at math/science. It's biology!")
If I do not want children, it is assumed something is wrong with me or that my desire to remain childfree is only temporary. ("Don't you have a maternal instinct?" "Oh, one day you'll change your mind when you hear your biological clock ticking.")
If I try to get sterilized, I don't know what I want or I'm selfish. ("You might change your mind." "What if your husband/boyfriend wants children someday?")
If I am a mother, it is assumed I will be the primary caregiver, that I will sacrifice any and all career opportunities. If I express a desire to have a break, I am selfish. ("If you wanted to do that, you shouldn't have had kids!" "Having a child means dealing with all the consequences!")
If the father of my child leaves us and I demand child support, I'm only doing so because I'm greedy and not because I want to provide for my child. ("She's just doesn't want to work." "She shouldn't have spread her legs unless she was married/she knew he wouldn't leave.")
If I have an unplanned pregnancy, it is assumed I did so on purpose regardless of circumstances. ("She's trying to trap that man into a relationship." "She oopsed him!")
If I want an abortion, I'm trying to escape my responsibility. ("If you want to have sex, you ought to deal with the consequences.")
If I have a child and require financial assistance, I'm mooching off the government. ("She's a welfare queen." "They have more kids to get more money.")
If I am sexually assaulted/raped, it's my fault. ("She sent mixed signals." "She was dressed provacatively." "She got drunk.")
If I report my sexual assault/rape, I'm lying. ("She's just mad he didn't call her back." "I know him. He'd never rape!")
If I am raped or threatened with rape, I should take it as a compliment or I should be grateful for the attention. ("He thought you were pretty." "You should be glad anyone wanted to touch you at all.")
If I am lesbian, it's only because I haven't met the right man. ("You just need a good dicking.")
If I turn down a man's advances, I'm shallow and cruel. ("That bitch wouldn't give me the time of day." "Her standards are too high.")
If I enjoy sex or have a lot of sex, I'm a slut. ("She's loose." "She's probably diseased.")
If I don't want sex, I'm frigid or, again, haven't met the right man. ("She doesn't know what she's missing.")
If I express discomfort or offense at being cat-called or having a complete stranger comment on my appearance, I can't take a compliment. ("What a bitch! He was just being nice.")
I should strive to be aesthetically pleasing at all times and my worth is determined by my beauty rather than my abilities. ("You'd be prettier if you smiled." "If you put on a little make-up, you'd be stunning." "If you showed a little more cleavage, you'd get that promotion/earn more tips.")
It is unreasonable for me to expect to be able to safely travel alone, to go out at night, to go to a bar, or to a party. ("The world is just an ugly place and you need to accept that." "You shouldn't do all that by yourself.")
My biology is used to invalidate and ignore my justifiable anger. ("You must be on the rag!" "Look who's PMSing!" "Stop being so hormonal!")
I am told my gender makes me incapable of making rational decisions. To have an emotional response to an event makes me weak. ("Women are too emotional to hold a position of power.")
I am not supposed to enjoy activities or professions that are male-dominated. ("You might get hurt, little girl." "Why would you want to do that? You'll get dirty.")
I am told my gender makes me incapable of performing certain tasks. ("Girls are bad at math/science. It's biology!")
If I do not want children, it is assumed something is wrong with me or that my desire to remain childfree is only temporary. ("Don't you have a maternal instinct?" "Oh, one day you'll change your mind when you hear your biological clock ticking.")
If I try to get sterilized, I don't know what I want or I'm selfish. ("You might change your mind." "What if your husband/boyfriend wants children someday?")
If I am a mother, it is assumed I will be the primary caregiver, that I will sacrifice any and all career opportunities. If I express a desire to have a break, I am selfish. ("If you wanted to do that, you shouldn't have had kids!" "Having a child means dealing with all the consequences!")
If the father of my child leaves us and I demand child support, I'm only doing so because I'm greedy and not because I want to provide for my child. ("She's just doesn't want to work." "She shouldn't have spread her legs unless she was married/she knew he wouldn't leave.")
If I have an unplanned pregnancy, it is assumed I did so on purpose regardless of circumstances. ("She's trying to trap that man into a relationship." "She oopsed him!")
If I want an abortion, I'm trying to escape my responsibility. ("If you want to have sex, you ought to deal with the consequences.")
If I have a child and require financial assistance, I'm mooching off the government. ("She's a welfare queen." "They have more kids to get more money.")
If I am sexually assaulted/raped, it's my fault. ("She sent mixed signals." "She was dressed provacatively." "She got drunk.")
If I report my sexual assault/rape, I'm lying. ("She's just mad he didn't call her back." "I know him. He'd never rape!")
If I am raped or threatened with rape, I should take it as a compliment or I should be grateful for the attention. ("He thought you were pretty." "You should be glad anyone wanted to touch you at all.")
If I am lesbian, it's only because I haven't met the right man. ("You just need a good dicking.")
If I turn down a man's advances, I'm shallow and cruel. ("That bitch wouldn't give me the time of day." "Her standards are too high.")
If I enjoy sex or have a lot of sex, I'm a slut. ("She's loose." "She's probably diseased.")
If I don't want sex, I'm frigid or, again, haven't met the right man. ("She doesn't know what she's missing.")
If I express discomfort or offense at being cat-called or having a complete stranger comment on my appearance, I can't take a compliment. ("What a bitch! He was just being nice.")
I should strive to be aesthetically pleasing at all times and my worth is determined by my beauty rather than my abilities. ("You'd be prettier if you smiled." "If you put on a little make-up, you'd be stunning." "If you showed a little more cleavage, you'd get that promotion/earn more tips.")
It is unreasonable for me to expect to be able to safely travel alone, to go out at night, to go to a bar, or to a party. ("The world is just an ugly place and you need to accept that." "You shouldn't do all that by yourself.")
