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Today's Livejournal Writer's Block
Mar. 28th, 2011 01:46 pmThe LJ questions won't post here on DW, but this is one I wanted to have in both locations, because the story is important to me...and it's kind of funny in certain twisted ways.
What's the worst thing you ever did to a partner during the course of a relationship? Did you ever move beyond it?
Years ago, when I was young and very stupid (AKA my late teens/very early twenties), I cheated on a partner. Twice. Physically, it was only once, and it never went beyond kissingbecause that guy was a terrible kisser and a biter who liked to bite with no warning and nearly split my lower lip in two. The other time it was purely online with another woman (more role-play than anything serious), but it still counted as cheating to him and that's what counts.*
That relationship was horrible and my needs weren't being met either emotionally or physically, but that doesn't excuse what I did. I was unhappy and pretty damn miserable. I think I tried talking to my partner at the time, but I lacked much in the way of communication skills. That, and that boyfriend was...well, a jerk at times. I've faced similar problems in relationships since him, but now I actually talk and am not afraid to say, "This aspect isn't working for me. What can we both do to try and find some middle ground?"
I'm not saying that me having better communication skills would have helped that relationship any. Knowing more about myself, my wants and needs, and knowing that the problem didn't 100% lie with me as to why I was unhappy would have helped me leave a hell of a lot sooner. It was a three-year relationship that lasted three years too long.
And yes, I'm still in the wrong for cheating.
* = He also thought mygodawful lesbian erotica writing was cheating on him in some way, even though I was just writing stories and had no actual experience (woe). He wasn't supposed to know about it, but he'd snooped on my computer which is how he found out about the online cheating (and blamed it on the cat; no, really) and read it. Apparently that hurt him too, and I was a horrible person for writing about...completely fictional people.
What's the worst thing you ever did to a partner during the course of a relationship? Did you ever move beyond it?
Years ago, when I was young and very stupid (AKA my late teens/very early twenties), I cheated on a partner. Twice. Physically, it was only once, and it never went beyond kissing
That relationship was horrible and my needs weren't being met either emotionally or physically, but that doesn't excuse what I did. I was unhappy and pretty damn miserable. I think I tried talking to my partner at the time, but I lacked much in the way of communication skills. That, and that boyfriend was...well, a jerk at times. I've faced similar problems in relationships since him, but now I actually talk and am not afraid to say, "This aspect isn't working for me. What can we both do to try and find some middle ground?"
I'm not saying that me having better communication skills would have helped that relationship any. Knowing more about myself, my wants and needs, and knowing that the problem didn't 100% lie with me as to why I was unhappy would have helped me leave a hell of a lot sooner. It was a three-year relationship that lasted three years too long.
And yes, I'm still in the wrong for cheating.
* = He also thought my
