[Triumph] Logic. We don't has it.

One day someone will find me under my desk curled into a fetal position with a bottle of vodka clutched tightly in my hands. I will be muttering about detatchable heads, surfboard-shaped dragons, and gelatenous animal companions. I have accepted that this will be my fate as long as I continue to GM for Triumph, and I think it wise to document part of what will drive me to my inevitable insanity.

[11:08:32] <Ray> Can you also handwave the cost for a suit of an animal companion? >.> >:)
[11:08:45] <JadeNSC> How big is Diamar?
[11:08:57] <Ray> 2m20, tail to nose.
[11:09:01] <Ray> *tailbase.
[11:09:34] <Ray> (A few heads bigger than the average human when standing upright.)
[11:10:23] <JadeNSC> ...and yet big enough to be a Mount?
[11:10:26] <JadeNSC> and flying?
[11:10:38] <Ray> (( About the size of a pony))
[11:10:50] <Ray> Just a bit smaller than Silvia.
[11:10:51] <Arcomage> I'm pretty sure that dragons are something of a social taboo at dinnerparties with or without a suit, Ray. :P
[11:10:55] <Ray> :P
[11:10:58] <JadeNSC> But Raskalius is a fully-grown human male?
[11:11:01] <Aerdan> Logic? In *my* Final Fantasy?
[11:11:03] <Ray> Yes. >.>
[11:11:29] <Ray> It's the same as Gideon riding on Finnegan. No logix.
[11:11:34] <JadeNSC> Dude, that's...um, yeah, not very logical.
[11:11:35] <Arcomage> Raskalius doesn't ride her like a horse. He rides her like a surfboard. A flying surfboard.
[11:11:39] <JadeNSC> Gideon is a *Dwarf*.
[11:11:46] <Ray> And what Arc said.
[11:11:49] <JadeNSC> And goats can get pretty big.
[11:11:59] <Ray> So can Ponies. >.>
[11:12:10] <Aerdan> Arcomage: ...
[11:12:10] <Ray> I ride my sis's horse from time to time. She has a pony.
[11:12:41] <JadeNSC> OK, here's what I'm going to say before my head implodes: Diamar doesn't need clothing.
[11:12:50] <Ray> Yay. >.>
[11:14:00] <Ray> Raskalius doesn't ride her like a horse. He rides her like a surfboard. A flying surfboard. <--- This is so going into the char sheet.

I think it's high time to state I was experiencing temporary insanity when I accepted this voluntary position.

Geek Love

[15:42:32] <WorkWeazel> ... damn it. lol. I had a train of thought, completely lost it, and forgot what the hell I was going to say
[15:43:26] <WorkWeazel> I'm getting all senile and shit.
[15:44:47] * JadeNSC laughs.
[15:45:05] <JadeNSC> Time for me to trade you in for a newer model?
[15:45:06] <JadeNSC> :p
[15:45:33] * WorkWeazel chuckles. "Probably, but you won't."
[15:45:38] <WorkWeazel> :-p
[15:45:57] <JadeNSC> So confident. :p
[15:46:09] <WorkWeazel> you're like these people that call me up using Windows 98 'its a perfect good operating system. >:|'
[15:46:13] <WorkWeazel> :-p
[15:46:57] <WorkWeazel> god I'm such a geek. lol. I'm lucky you think it's hot.
[15:48:02] <JadeNSC> ...rofl

Of course, the fact that I laugh does not make it any less true.

Starting Over

Recently, I shut down my campaign of over a year. It was something I had been debating for quite a long time. The day I shut it down, I was set off by a post (no, I won't link to it) that touched on some old drama that happened before I even GMed the first session. That drama eventually led to the loss of (what I thought was) a good friend and hurt another long-standing campaign I was in. Then, shortly after I started the campaign, Dad became ill and was diagnosed with cancer.

Despite the days I spent caring for Dad, dealing with Dad's friends and the things said to me, and handling the fallout from finally breaking up with Tofu, I kept the campaign going. It may not have run every week like I wanted, but it stayed alive. Then, Dad passed away, more stuff happened, and yet I tried to keep going.

When I read that post, I was so angry. Angry that after a year, I could not separate my campaign from the old drama. Angry that, in spite of my best efforts, I had never been able to repair what was broken. Angry that something I loved had become associated with such ugliness and that it was no longer bringing me joy. So, to put it bluntly, I threw my hands up in the air, said "Fuck it," and put the campaign on hold. That was February 23.

I talked with Justin about it, trusting his judgement as both a player in my campaign and as my GM for his awesome Ivalice game. When I mentioned I toyed with the idea of completely rebooting Fourth Age, he told me he thought it was a good idea. I talked with Sam about it, too, and he seemed to be in agreement with Justin. He too loved Fourth Age, and he thought I shouldn't write it off completely. I asked the other players, and all of them said that they would be willing to come back and make new characters.

This past weekend I stripped away everything but the foundations for Fourth Age, and started rebuilding my world from the ground up. I'm taking my time and keeping everyone interested in the loop. I've been bouncing ideas off Justin and getting input from Sam, and trying to talk to the other players involved when they're around. It's been fun, and I realized Saturday that I had not associated the word fun with Fourth Age for a long time.

I'm changing so much about the world, and altering the plot quite a bit due to lessons learned from my initial go at my own campaign. As I go about it, I'm making a concious effort to associate good memories with this. This time I don't have an ailing relative or a failing relationship in the background. I won't go look at old notes and remember all these bad things that happened. I feel good about this, and I want to keep creating and planning, and eventually, running my players ragged.

I'd almost forgotten how great this feeling was.

P.S.: I have no official start date. I've got a looooooong way to go yet, but so far, it looks like it's coming along fairly quickly.