This is my life with pets, y'all.

Today in things that only happen to me before a boss pull in Firelands:

Jack hopped in through the open window (he gets to use it like a cat door in warmer weather) and went under my chair. I happened to look down and saw he deposited a dead mouse.

Jack: I BROUGHTED YOU A MURDER PRESENT!
Jade: (On vent.) "Um, sorry guys, I need a minute to clean up the dead mouse my cat just brought me."
Jack: (Sashays off to his chair, nose in the air.) YOU'RE WELCOME!

When I had a chance a few minutes later, I gave him some catnip, which he thoroughly enjoyed.

At least he didn't bring it to me while I was lying in bed this time,* and at least he wasn't like Gwen and left it on the dining room table.** Still, his timing could have been better.

As for the raid, don't ask me. I don't want to get into it.

* = True story. It was shortly after we brought Jack home from the cat rescue. One night I was sitting in bed on the laptop and Jack jumped on the bed and plopped a big dead mouse right there next to me on the comforter. That was the moment I knew he was happy to have a home.

** = Also a true story. This one not as funny because Gwen had partially disemboweled the mouse and left the top half on the table for us. I guess she thought the entire mouse was more than we deserved.

Incubus Dreams (A rant in three parts.)

When last I wrote about the Anita Blake series, I was in the middle of Narcissus in Chains and my only complaint was the use of soap as a vaginal lubricant. Since then I've read Cerulean Sins and Incubus Dreams (which I just finished today), and I have so many things to say now.

Narcissus in Chains, despite the implications of the title, was not heavy on sex. There was more sex than there had been in previous Anita Blake books, but it was still about par for the course. Many fans seem to think this is the book when the series fell apart, but I disagree. In my opinion, Cerulean Sins was where the series went off the rails, and in Incubus Dreams the series goes off the rails, over a steep cliff, crashes into the jagged rocks on the bottom, and then somehow manages to continue limping along while never losing its massive erection (because we all know the only good penis is a massive one).

Cerulean Sins saw more sex than any other book, but my problem with Sins was that the plot was all over the place. It felt disjointed, confusing in parts, and here's where I saw Anita from mild Mary Sue to full blown My Immortal levels of special snowflake. Still, I foolishly believed that if this was where fans became disappointed, it couldn't be that bad. There are still nine books published after Sins, so really, how bad could it be? I really ought to know better than to ask stupid questions.

Incubus Dreams is bad, 722 pages (in this edition) of bad. There's no other way to put it. The editing is horrible, many of the sex scenes (and there are many of them) are incredibly unsexy, the plot is barely there like Nathaniel's thong, and to top it all off there's one part that's a heaping pile of rape apologist bullshit. I wish I were kidding.

( Lack of editing. )

( Too much (boring) sex. )

( Richard is a giant douchebag rapist, and Anita blames the victim. )

And in spite of this, I'm enough of a masochist to finisht this series because, damnit, I'm in it for the long haul. I will, however, have a palate cleanser between this book and the next. Maybe two or three because, damn, this was torture.